Touched by Darkness
by Dean's Little Secret
Summary: While on a hunt Sam runs into something that changes his life forever. And not for the better. In the dark of night Sam’s only chance for survival rests with Deans will. Warning inside
1. Chapter 1 Crazy

**_Written by Dean's Little Secret and co-written by perfectharmony22_ **

**Warning: Rape and abuse **

**Summary: While on a hunt Sam runs into something that changes his life forever. And not for the better. In the dark of night Sam's only chance for survival rests with Deans will. **

**_Touched by Darkness_**

**Chapter one: **_**Crazy **_

It had been a usual day for the Winchester brothers, just driving along the many roads through many cities and many towns. The Winchester brothers were quiet; it was not to long ago that the Devils Gates had been opened and ever since that day they had been hunting down powerful demons. Over a hundred demons had escaped and they were causing chaos amongst the people, in the last three months over twenty people were reported dead from unknown causes and over fifty had disappeared. The Winchester boys had made a big mistake in letting the gates get open but now they were going to fix it.

Which is why they were at Wichita, a report said that a young girl had told the police that she had woken up covered in her own blood. The girl had been beaten but the police didn't believe someone could not know how they ended up covered in bruises. But the Winchester boys knew better and since the Devils Gates were open they had seen some very strange attacks and it was worth checking out.

"Ok" Sam said from his spot on the bed "so a young girl claimed she woke up covered in bruises but the police thought she had just been beaten and was playing a game on them."

"Cops are so stupid" Dean said rolling his eyes.

"Dean its pretty unusual to wake up with bruises covering every inch of your skin" Sam shot back.

"Yeah and its sure as hell unusual not to notice that someone's beating the shit outta yeah."

"That's just it" Sam said tapping his fingers on the computer keyboard "I've found nothing even similar to this."

"Maybe its not a demon" Dean replied "Maybe it's a pissed off spirit that likes beating up girls."

"It still doesn't explain why she stayed asleep" Sam mused, "I mean something like that would wake you up, even if you were a deep sleeper. No one could sleep through something like that. She was hurt pretty bad."

"Then maybe the cops were right" Dean said with a shrug "maybe she made it all up. Perhaps some non-supernatural being did it to her and-"

"-And what Dean?" Sam cut across "she didn't even know people that would do that to her and it wouldn't explain why she couldn't remember the attack."

"Maybe she went to the wrong place at the wrong time" Dean added, "Someone could have drugged her drink then so forth."

"She woke up in her bed and she hadn't been anywhere that night." Sam said firmly "we're dealing with something supernatural here Dean and whatever it is, it wants to hurt people and we need to find it and kill it! Before more people get hurt or worse."

"OK" Dean scrubbed his hands over his face "Lets go visit her and see what she can tell us."

**--------**

Sam and Dean walked up to the front door of Lola Step's house; she was the one who had reported the strange attack and the Winchester brothers were hoping she could help them out. They rang the doorbell then waited patiently until the door swung open, a young girl with long blonde hair opened the door. She had a busted lip a bruised eye and few more cuts and bruises to her face. But the attack was a month ago and the Winchester boys immediately became very interested in this case.

"C… can I help you?" she stuttered.

"Yeah I'm Jake and this is Mike" Dean introduced himself with a fake name, as always "We're doing a report on the strange attacks that happed to you a month and a half ago."

"You mean the one where the cops just laughed at me and told me to get out," she said bitterly.

"Uh… yeah" Dean scratched behind his ear.

"I s'pose you're going to laugh at me too?" she demanded in the same bitter tone.

"No" Sam added quickly "We believe you."

"You do?" she asked suspiciously.

"Yeah we do" Dean said with a smile "see it happened to… our cousin and we thought you could help us ID this guy or whatever it is."

"A monster is what it is" she stepped aside and allowed them to enter. She then led them into a small lounge room, it was occupied with three deep purple couches and a coffee table stood in the centre. They all took a seat on the couches and stayed quite until Sam spoke up.

"So it happened a month ago, right?" he asked, curious to know why she was still had bruises, bruises that look fresh.

"It started a month ago" she said bitterly "I went and told the cops but they laughed at me, so I came home and I told my friends what happened but they didn't believe me either but then it happened again and again" she paused to wipe a tear away from her eye "every morning since October the 1st I wake up like this, do you know how scary it is to know that someone or something does this to you while you sleep!"

"So you don't know who's doing this to you?" Sam asked softly.

She shook her head and muttered no "But I'm not lying about this!" she added quickly "No matter what the police say I'm not lying, I swear every bruise on my skin is from the sick bastard that does to me every good damn night."

"Well don't worry Lola" Dean spoke up "We're going to find out who's doing this to you."

"But your just reporters?"

"And we like to get to the bottom of things" Dean said with a grin "so may we take a look around?"

"Ah sure" she said sounding a bit unassured.

"Don't worry we won't be long" Dean said "And when we're done we'll have some answers for you."

**--------**

"Well this is crappy" Dean grumbled as they drove back to the motel.

"The house showed no sign of supernatural behaviour no sulphur and the EMF picked up nothing." Sam said with a sigh "Maybe we should call Bobby and ask him if he knows anything."

"Great you do that" Dean said with a grin "I'm going to a pub to get a beer and a hot chick."

"Dean we have work to do" Sam snapped "You can't-"

"-Can't what Sam" Dean asked pulling into the motel parking lot "Have fun? Well I'm sorry Sammy but I'm going out tonight to have some fun and considering I have a year to live I might as well have some fun memories to take with me!"

Sam frowned at Dean and a look of hurt was written in his eye "Fine then" he hissed as he climbed out of the car "If you'd rather spend the last year of your life with some blonde bimbo then go ahead. I don't need you anyway, I'll do this case on my own" Sam slammed the door shut and stormed off.

"Sam come back" Dean shouted, he closed his eyes and heaved a sigh. "I'm sorry Sammy" Dean then drove off; it was a good idea to let Sam cool down, he wouldn't stay out all night but he would stay away long enough to let Sam calm down. But even if Sam's anger died down, Dean knew he'd still see that hurt look in Sam's eyes, and that was killing him. Why did he have to open his stupid mouth, it wouldn't have hurt him to do some research, and it counted as spending some time with Sam. But he had made his bed now he had to sleep in it, and what a mess it was in.

**--------**

Sam slammed the door shut with such a force that it shook the whole motel room. He took a deep breath to try and calm himself him down, he shut his eyes and lent against the door. Finally he felt himself calm down but the feeling hurt was still inside of him, would Dean really rather spend his dying year screwing girls every chance he got.

"Well he obviously doesn't want to spend it with me" Sam muttered bitterly as he pulled the phone from his pocket, he punched in Bobby's number then waited for him to answer. Finally Bobby answered and Sam quickly filled him in, he told Bobby what he and Dean's knew case was and that he wanted to know if he knew what they were hunting.

"Well Sam I can't say I know what you boys are dealing but I'll look into it but it might just be nothing."

"Trust me Bobby this isn't nothing, something supernatural is behind this."

"I'll see what I can do."

"Ok thanks Bobby" Sam hung up the phone and dropped it onto his bed; Sam closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He knew that it was something supernatural but he had no idea what it was. Sam picked up his phone and put it back in his pocket, he grabbed the keys and headed to the door.

He stepped out into the car park and walked off towards the street. It was only a short walk to Lola's house and he didn't mind that he had to walk; it was nice to get some fresh air. In a matter of minutes he was knocking on her font door, her knocked twice then waited but there was no answer.

"Lola" he called out "It's uhh… Mike, the reporter, are you here? I want to ask you a few more questions." Sam said remembering his false name.

But still there was no answer, Sam peered through the side window but there was no sign of movement. He left the front door and headed around the back, he saw that the back door was wide open. He bolted inside and looked around the tiny laundry, finding nothing he moved into the kitchen. He looked into the lounge but found no one.

He made his way down the hall and turned to face a door that was half open, he pushed it the rest of the way and was shocked by what he saw. Lola lay sprawled out on the bed with blood covering her face. There was no skin visible at all, Sam walked into the room and stared down at the dead girl. Suddenly her eyes open and she stared up at Sam with shock.

Sam quickly bent down to her height and placed a hand attentively on hers "Don't worry Lola I'm gonna get you help."

"Don't let him near you," she said breathless "Don't let him near you" her head lolled to the side and her eyes rolled back into her head.

Sam stood and stared down at the girl with confusion, what did she mean '_don't let him near you?_' whatever it was couldn't be good. Sam turned and walked from the room. He heaved a sigh then he heard a loud noise come from the lounge room, he ran down the hall and entered the lounge room but found nothing.

He turned around and nearly bumped into a man dressed in a ragged old hoddie and dirty denim jeans. His eyes and noise were hidden beneath the hood but Sam could see his thin lips, which were in the form of an evil smirk. Sam stepped back but the man stayed standing where he was, finally he turned and walked out of the house.

Sam quickly followed but by the time he made it outside he was gone, Sam took a deep breath then headed back to the motel. Many question were revolving around his head, like who the hell was that guy and where did he go? Sam swore that he was going to get to the bottom of this.

**--------**

Dean stared down at his half empty beer mug, he couldn't get Sam's hurt look out of his head. Maybe he should be spending more time with Sam, hell he had a year to live he should be spending every moment with the kid. Because at the end of it all, Sam would be the only one who would remember Dean for whom he was. Every girl would remember him as a one-night stand but that was it. They'd never know that he was the son of one the best hunters and they'd never know that he had little brother that he'd loved more then anything in world. In a way Sam was Dean's world, he was his little brother and he was always there when Dean needed him the most.

"Hey hun" came a girls voice.

Dean turned to face a blonde with brown eyes, his type of girl. But right now he didn't feel like having a girl around him, he felt like just going back to the motel and apologising to Sam. But something told him Sam hadn't quit cooled off yet, so instead he thought he'd do some research, maybe find out what they were dealing with.

"Do you know a girl called Lola Step?"

"Yeah I do" she replied with a surprised look "She's a bit crazy these days though."

"Oh and whys that?"

"Well get this" she sits herself down on a chair "She says that she woke up covered in bruises and well she did but she told me she doesn't know how she got them" she took a sip from her drink "But she was a mess she would have to have known how she got them."

"Of course" Dean said taking a swig from his beer "so was that the only time she told you that she woke up beaten?"

"No" the girl said "she told me twice after that and the second time she reckoned that she had been… you know" she lent in and whispered into Dean's ear she pulled back and laughed "I told you she was crazy."

"Yeah" Dean said with a fake grin "Real crazy" he then stood "Well I have to go but I'm sure I'll see you again" he then disappeared from the bar, he opened the car door and climbed in. twenty minutes he returned to the motel, he raced to the door and swang it open, the room was empty.

"Sam" Dean shouted "Sam!"

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2 Someone in the Dark

**Chapter two: **_**Someone in the Dark**_

"Sam" Dean shouted while walking into the room "Sam!"

"Dean."

Dean spun around to face Sam, who was standing in the doorway looking rather drained.

"Sam where'd you go?" Dean asked rushing over to him.

"I went to talk to Lola again" Sam moved into the room and shut the door behind him "But when I got there she had been beaten."

"Is she ok?"

"She's dead Dean" Sam said dryly "That thing killed her!"

"Sam don't jump the gun, we don't know that it was a 'thing'. It could have just been some crazy normal person who killed her. Cause people get killed all the time and they're not all supernatural."

"Oh yea" Sam spat back "when I walked out I saw someone in her kitchen and he and vanished just like that" Sam clicked his fingers as he spoke.

"Sam, I don't know, I mean maybe you were just so worked up about seeing Lola dead, it doesn't exactly scream supernatural."

Sam scowled at Dean "Why are you even here? I thought you went to get laid!"

"I did… I mean I found something out."

"What? That the waitress had G sizes breast." Sam said, his anger and hurt from before being released now.

"Sam I'm trying to help you here" Dean spat.

"We'll you didn't want to help me an hour ago so don't bother helping me now."

Dean felt his anger boil, here he was trying to help Sam and yet Sam was pushing him a way. Well if Sam didn't want his help then he wouldn't bother giving it to him. "Fine then Sam" Dean said through gritted teeth "do this case on your own and don't come and ask me for help" Dean stormed past Sam and vanished outside, making sure to slam the door behind him.

Sam heaved a sigh and tried to calm himself down; he needed to stay focused on the hunt. So he moved towards the small table that was in the room and sat down turning his laptop on he tapped his fingers rhythmically against the table and waited for it to boot up, frustrated, he started his search.

**--------**

Dean gripped the stirring wheel so tight that his knuckles had turned white. Why was acting like that? Its not like Dean had done anything. He just said he wanted a night to himself and Sam went off the handle. Ok so maybe he said a bit more then that, he had reminded Sam that he only had year to live and Sam was finding it hard enough to deal with that fact Dean gave his life up so Sam could keep living.

Dean was now mentally kicking himself, he should have apologised, he should be apologising for doing it more than a few times and he should be apologising for ditching Sam every chance he got. Yet he couldn't bring himself to go back and apologise, he was too angry even though he knew Sam had a right to be mad at him.

Two fights in one hour, that was knew record for them.

Was this going to be how they spent their last year? Was fighting and running away from each other going be the only thing left for Dean to remember. No, their last year couldn't be like this, he wouldn't let it be like this. They would wrap up this hunt then they'd go on a break, they'd have some fun, just the two of them. Like brothers should.

By now Dean had cooled off but for some reason he still refused to go back to the motel. Maybe he'd let Sam strew in his juices for a little bit longer, or else he risked the chance of irritating Sam once again, causing another fight to erupt, and he knew not only would he not want to be at the receiving end of a three time angry Sam but also that he would be right back to where he was now. It would be better to just return in the morning, hopefully after a peaceful night's sleep, that way they could start of fresh.

**--------**

Sam had spent an hour doing research but yet he found nothing, maybe Dean was right maybe this was something that didn't concern them. But something in side him told him that it wasn't just anything, yet apparently the world was saying it was nothing. Heaving a sigh Sam rose to his feet and walked to the small kitchen, he switched the jug on then went to get a cup.

As he went to the cupboard he saw a dark figure through the lace curtains, he pushed them aside but when he did there was nothing there. He rubbed his eyes and looked again yet saw nothing. _Great now you're seeing things' _he said bitterly to himself. Suddenly a loud crackle of thunder roared through the sky and Sam shuddered with surprise.

"God now you're scared of thunder," he said out loud as another crackle of thunder roared through the night sky. Sam shock his head then turned back around to face the bench. He went back to the cupboard and grabbed a mug, as he past the window again he saw the same dark figure but this time Sam knew he wasn't just seeing things.

He placed the mug on the bed and walked to the door, grabbing a gun as he went. He opened the front door and walked left then turned down a small path that led to the back of the motel. He reached the back but there was no sign of anybody, only the tress and a dirty pool surrounded him, at least that was all that was visible. Sam scanned the area carefully but he was the only person or creature out there.

Sam sighed softly then turned to head back inside, as he did he saw the dark figure. His face was still hidden beneath the hood and he still had an evil smirk on his face. Sam went to pull out his gun but before he had a chance the strange man in front of him shoot out his arm and pressed it to Sam's forehead. Sam felt his body grow weal and he could feel the darkness taking over.

Finally his eyes slipped shut and his legs gave way as his knees buckled under the weight drawing him into the darkness.

**--------**

The sun shone down softly on the black Impala as it pulled into the cheap motel parking lot. The door swung open and Dean stepped out, he looked around the empty parking lot and he took a breath of fresh, cool air. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a key, walked to the door and stuck the key into the slot.

The lock clicked and he entered the room quietly, he saw that Sam was hugged up under the covers. He smiled softly then made his way to the bathroom, he opened the door then entered, shutting it softly behind him as not to disturb Sam. He stripped down then turned on the shower, after a moment he climbed in and let the warm water run over his aching muscles.

He finished a few minutes later and turned the knobs shutting the water off, small droplets of water running now his toned body. Shaking his hair he climbed out of the shower and towel dried himself remembering that he had not brought any clothes in with him. He walked out of the bathroom and made a beeline to his duffle, quickly pulling out his clothes he turned around to face the still sleeping Sam, his head was buried beneath the covers and Dean could hear the sound of soft snoring.

Sighing Dean walked back to the bathroom and changed into his fresh clothes. Dean thoughts turned to yesterday's events, he and Sam had been at each other's throats, and he hated it when they fought. He wanted nothing more then have one day where he and Sam could actual do something that normal people did. That normal brothers did.

Yet Dean was doomed to spent his last year hunting demons and fighting with his little brother and if they weren't fighting they'd be to busy saving someone to talk. Ever since he made the deal with the crossroad demon he and Sam had done nothing but yell at each other, sure there were periods where they got along but that was usually when they were looking for a knew hunt.

Finally Dean emerged from the bathroom and he made his way to his bed. He sat down with a sigh then rested himself back onto his pillows; he heard Sam rustle the sheets and turned to face him. His heart skipped a beat and he was at Sam's side in seconds, he crouched down and gently shook Sam awake, and by the time Sam's heavy lidded eyes were half open, dean had started shooting questions at him.

"Sammy what happened?" he asked with panic in his voice "did you see who did this to you? Where were you when it happened? When did it happen? Do you need to go to the hospital?"

Sam stared at Dean through half closed eyes then finally his brain registered what his brother was saying through his clouded mind. He was asking a million questions but Sam was still confused, why the hell was asking him do you need to go to a hospital? "Dean what the hell are you talkin about?" Sam asked groggily.

"Sam you look like you lost a round with a brick wall," he said trying to put some humour in to his worried voice.

Sam slowly sat up and as he did he felt a horrible headache stabbing at his head behind his eyes. He closed his eyes then reopened them but the pain continued, he was now awake enough to feel the pain searing through his face. He moved his hand and gently touched his lip, he drew his hand back and looked down at his fingers and he saw a small amount of blood.

Sam quickly looked up at Dean, who was trying desperately to hide his worry "Dean what the hell happened?"

"Sam, why are you asking me what happened?" Dean asked with a confused and worried look.

"I don't remember how this happened," he said softly "I remember going outside because I saw something but the rest is hazy," Sam said closing his eyes at the end then reopening them. His left eye was swollen and a deep purple bruise around it, he had busted lip and his right check had greeny black bruise on it.

"So you don't remember anything" Dean asked while moving to sit next to Sam "You sure?"

Sam gave a curt nod then looked down at his hands that rested on his lap, he felt so stupid. How could he not remember how these bruises came about, he remembered everything before hand but he couldn't remember why he went outside. And as if Dean had been thinking the same thing he quickly asked why Sam had gone outside in the first place.

"I don't know" Sam said honestly but he never looked up at Dean as he spoke "I can't remember!" he removed his eyes from his hands and looked up meeting another worried face, most likely mirroring his own, "Why can't I remember!"

"Hey easy tiger, we're gonna figure this out ok" he said placing a hand on his shoulder and giving it a gently squeeze "and when we find the son-of-a-bitch that did this to you he'll wish he was never born."

Sam smiled softly at Dean; if anyone hurt Sam then Dean would hurt them back, tenfold. It had always been that way, especially when they were kids. After all Sam was always the geek and the 'tougher' kids would always prey on him. But they soon found out that if you mess with Sam you mess with Dean.

And Dean wasn't someone you wanted to mess with.

**TBC**

**The next chapter should be up by tomorrow XD**


	3. Chapter 3 The Unknown

**Chapter three: **_**The Unknown **_

Dean stared at Sam, who was sleeping soundly, the beating and the worry having taken its toll on him causing his energy to drain. The bruises on his face weren't the only ones, he many multicoloured bruises creating spectacular patterns all over his body. Dean was worried; Sam couldn't remember how he ended up with all those bruises and thus wouldn't be able to help with the investigation, Dean ran his fingers through his hair then he stared down at Sam again sighing.

Dean knew deep down that whoever did this to Sam was the same guy who had been beating Lola before she was finally killed. Which meant Sam would eventually be killed too. No he wouldn't let it happen. He wouldn't lose Sam again; heck he was going to hell just so Sam could live he wasn't about to let some other thing kill him.

Heaving a sigh Dean stood and walked to the kitchen, he switched on the jug and moved to the cabinet to get a mug. As he's hand touched the handle he felt a cold chill run through his body. He felt a cool breeze lightly brush against his face, a feeling of dread rushed through Dean and he quickly spun around to face Sam.

He was sitting up looking around the room with a frightened look on his face. When his eyes fell on Dean the look died away and was replaced by his normal puppy dog look.

"You ok Sammy?"

Sam only groaned in reply then stood up on shaky legs, he took a step forward but felt his body grew weak and fell back to the bed. Dean rushed to him and knelt down before him. He looked up at Sam's pale and bruised face.

"You ok kiddo?"

"Can you get me some painkillers?" Sam asked with a husky voice.

"Sure thing" Dean stood and walked briskly to his duffle, he fished around his duffle until he found what he was looking for. He walked back to Sam who took the pills and swallowed them. "You hungry?"

"No Dean I'm fine thanks."

"Ok" Dean says then stands "How about we start looking into this town's history and see if we can find out what happened to Lola and now you."

Sam looked up at Dean "When I was at Lola's house I saw someone" Sam said weakly "I think I saw him last night."

"Where Sammy" Dean sat down next to Sam and stared at him with concern.

"At first I saw him through the kitchen window" Sam said trying to remember what exactly happened last night. "Then I saw him again…" Sam's eyes darted to the door "So I went outside… and I went out the back and he… he was there" he turned to face Dean. "It's him Dean" Sam spat "he killed Lola and he did this to me!"

"Then we've gotta find out who he is quick."

"Dean its not gonna be easy."

"Just as long as it's done by the third day!" Dean said getting up and turning away from Sam.

Sam stared at Dean with a confused look "What happens on the third day?"

"Nothing" Dean snapped, "Just forget I said it."

"Dean" Sam said in a firm tone "Tell me what happens on the third day."

Dean turned around to face Sam "I met this chick at a bar who said she knew Lola and that she told her that on the third night she had been… well you know, umm..."

"What Dean?"

"Well she was um, sexually abused," He said.

Sam just stared at Dean. "Wha-?"

Dean just turned away not able to look at his brother any longer.

Sam couldn't believe what he had just heard; it couldn't be true could it? "I… I mean, what? Dean she never said anything like that?"

Dean slowly turned back to face Sam, his eyes wet with unshed tears. "I'm sorry Sammy but do you really think she would mention something like that to reporters. It's not something people go around telling other people."

"So I'm going to be-"

"No" Dean cut in "I will not let that happen to you, you hear me! No one in this god-forsaken world is ever going to do that to you, ok!" Dean turned around and goes to his duffle, he reaches in and pulls out the EMF. He turns back to face Sam, who is looking rather pale "I'm gonna take a look out side and see what I can find, stay here" Dean walks out the door and shuts it softly behind.

Sam stared down at his hands and a single tear rolled down his cheek.

**--------**

Dean walked with the EMF in his out stretched hand and his other stuffed in his pocket. It was a chilly winter's morning and the cold icy breeze only made it worse. But Dean had a job to do and a little cold air wasn't going to stop him from saving his brother. Dean's heart was racing so fast he thought it might exactly burst out of his chest.

He felt sick with worry and the thought of Sam being used like that was making him mad. He had to find out who or what this thing was; he wasn't going to let it hurt Sam again. Because no one hurts his Sammy, and if they did there time is numbered.

Suddenly the sound of the EMF going off takes Dean away from his thoughts, he looks down at EMF that is now showing signs of supernatural behaviour. "Gottcha bitch" Dean puts the EMF away and he bends down to inspect the ground, the spot he looks at is dead the rest of the lawn is in great shape.

Dean returns to the motel room and finds it empty "Sammy" Dean looks around then the sound of running water hits his ears and relaxes, but only a little. He walks to the laptop that is sitting on the bench and he sits down and starts his search.

An hour later Dean had found out that since the 80's a man and a woman had been found beaten to death in their own homes every leap year. Many over the years had told police but they had not believed them and a month later they had been found dead in their home. So Dean know knew that there were more people he had been attacked by this thing know he had to find out who the son-of-a bitch-was.

"Maybe we should go talk to the families" Sam said from his position on the bed "Ask them a few question try and find out what we're dealing with."

"Well I have a funny feeling with dealing with a horny spirit" Dean replies "So I'll go talk to the familles and you stay here and-"

"-Get beaten?"

"See if you can find us a corpse-"

"-To salt and burn I know the drill" Sam cut in.

"Start research around the 80's ok" Dean grabbed the keys to the Impala "Take it easy Sammy" he then walked out the door shutting it softly behind him, he walked to the Impala and climbed in. he heaved a sigh and rest his arms on the stirring wheel "I'm not gonna let this happened to you Sammy." And with that Dean peeled out of the parking lot and headed back to the bar.

A few minutes later Dean walked into the bar, it was basically empty except for a few drunks that sat in the corner away from the light and the people who were passing through. Dean quickly made his way to the counter and up the bar tender, who looked like he too had a hang over. Dean sat down on the stool and ordered a coffee. When the bar tender came back he questioned him about the girl he had talked to last night.

"Yeah Ada Careless" he said scratching his short stubby beard "been through hell she has."

"What happened?" Dean asked taking a sip of hot coffee.

"Well her best friend Lola Step was going crazy" he replied "for the last month she clammed someone was beating her while she slept" he paused "Ada didn't believe her but Lola's other friends did and they had a falling out" the bartender shook his head "she came in here at closing time bawling her eyes out, she had been told that Lola had been beaten to death."

"So did the police find out who did it?"

"No" the bartender said sadly "There was no sign of break in and evidence of anyone killing her. If you ask me I say the cops are just stupid to find the real the killer" the old bartender lowered his voice "9 I repeat 9 case of the same death has been occurring in this town since the 80's."

"So you think it's a cereal killer" Dean questioned

"I think it's a twisted person who likes screwing young girls and boys," he said quietly "I recon he drugs them while they sleep, so they don't wake up and then he has sex with them and beats them to a bloody mess. He's a sick puppy man and if I were you I'd be careful."

"Why?" Dean asked lazily taking another mouth full of coffee.

"Because once he's done with the girl he moves onto a guy, they're usual around 20 to 25 and he does the same to them."

"So there's a pattern" Dean says resting his arms on the bench "every four years a girl and a guy are killed the same way, each a month apart."

He gave a nod "If I were you I'd get out of this town."

"Well thanks for the warning" Dean says with a grin "But I'm here" Dean reaches into his jacket and pulls out a fake badge and shows it to the bartender "on business and I need to talk to Lola's friends and family, you wound's happen to know where they live now would you?"

**--------**

"So she was saying that someone was beating her in her sleep right" Dean questioned a red hair girl who was crying loudly. 

"S… she said it… it started a month ago" the girl said trying to pull herself together "she said she woke up covered in bruises and that she didn't remember how she had gotten them" the girl took a deep shaky breath "Lola and I never believed in the unknown but then it happened again and on the third night… that thing raped her!" she added hate to the word rape "now either someone drugged her while she slept or something unknown did this to her."

"Something unknown" Dean asked with a small smile "You mean like something supernatural?"

She gave a nod then blew her nose "Someone or something killed Lola and they're still out there and the cops in this town aren't gonna do jack about it! And it's only a matter of time before someone else is killed."

Dean took a sip of his water then placed it down on the coffee table "Did Lola say she had seen anything… 'strange' before she died?"

The red haired girl pursed her lips while she thought "Actually yeah" she said, "She mentioned that before going to bed a cold chill would flow through her room."

"Its winter" Dean said "Of course there's a cold chill."

"No she said she had the heater on and that all the windows were shut" she pursed her lips again "she said it would happen sometimes during the day but that's all she said."

"Will thanks Amada you've been a great help" Dean stood.

"So with this evidence you'll be able to find her killer right?"

Dean sighed then looked Amada in the eyes "Yeah" he said with a small smile leaving the silent _'I hope'_ in the air

**--------**

Sam grabbed his cell and went to punch in Dean's number but before he got a chance his older brother walk in the door. Sam looked up at Dean, who was taking a seat on the bed.

"What did you find?"

"Cole Collins was murder back in the 80's" Sam explained, "He used to drug his victims then beat, rape and kill them. He was arrested six years later and he was sentenced to death."

"So why is he back now?"

"Every four years he comes back and picks a girl to beat for a month then he kills her then he moves onto a guy… in this case me" Sam lowered his voice at the last four wards.

"Where's he buried?"

"Doesn't say" Sam replied looking away.

"Well it has to say!" Dean snapped. "He has to be buried somewhere Sam!"

"Dean it doesn't say" Sam snapped back "But the old prison where he was kept before he was hung is now a tourists place maybe if we went to check it out we'd find out what happened to him."

"Great let's go then" Dean stood and went to grab the keys.

"It's not open today," Sam said sadly.

"Then we break in," Dean said moving towards the door.

"Dean its not gonna be easy to break into a prison" Sam pointed out.

"You said it was a tourists place" Dean turned to face him.

"It is but it's still a prison Dean" Sam spat "Lets just go tomorrow when it's open ok."

"No we go now!" Dean shot back.

"Dean we have another day before-"

"Sam I don't care" Dean shouted, "I don't want you to get hurt again, because right now you look like crap."

"Dean this is no time for jokes" Sam spat, his anger rising "I don't want this either but in case you don't remember we are wanted by the FBI and if we got thrown in jail there will be no way to stop this thing." Sam lowered his voice "Please Dean… just wait for tomorrow ok."

Dean heaved a sigh and tucked his hands into his pockets "Fine" he walked past Sam and stopped at the kitchen sink, he stared out the window with blurry vision.

"Dean" Sam walked to him, stopping a few feet behind him.

"I'm gonna save you Sam" Dean turned to face Sam, unshed tears glistening in his green eyes "I promise you I am."

**TBC**

**Please review**


	4. Chapter 4 Cole Collins

**Chapter four: **_**Cole Collins**_

"_I'm gonna save you Sam" Dean turned to face Sam, unshed tears glisten in his green eyes "I promise I am."_

Sam smiled softly "Did you get a chance to talk to Lola's friends?"

"Yeah I did" Dean replied "Didn't find mush except her friend Amada said that Lola sometimes felt the air grow cold, even with the heaters on."

"Some spirits can set of an icy chill" Sam added "but it's not heard of often."

Dean sighed and looked away from Sam.

"Dean what is it?" Sam asked as he senses Dean's distress.

"When you were asleep earlier I swore I felt a chill" he looked back to Sam "I felt a breeze but all the windows were closed."

"Do you think he was here?"

"I think he comes every time you sleep" Dean replied "Which means he's going to come tonight."

Sam looked away then looked back at Dean, who moved back to his bed "It's just a couple of bruises I can live with it."

"What if you get a broken rib or-"

"Dean if it feels like I have a broken rib I'll go see a doctor, ok."

Dean scrubbed his hands over his face and exhaled a sigh "Ok…" Dean looked towards the clock and saw that it was 5:30, he turned back to face Sam "Want an early dinner?"

Sam gave a small nod; he wasn't that hungry but he would eat for Dean "yeah ok."

"Ok" Dean stood "there's a diner down the road, I'll go get us something to eat, wanna come?"

Sam only gave a nod then stood up.

"Great" Dean stood "It's not to far we can walk."

Sam gave another nod and walked to the door with Dean following suit. They stepped out into the cool night, the light breeze brushed against the warm skin causing shivers to run up their spines. They both ignored the cool breeze and walked across the car park and stepped onto the concrete footpath. The diner was only a short walk away; they could see the flashing sign from where they stood.

Dean opened the glass door and stepped into the warm diner, the smell of food hung in the air and the warmth emitted was a welcomed feeling. They ordered their food and took a seat in one of the booths. Dean silently studied Sam, he was looking down at his hands, he had become rather quiet since they left the motel. Dean had a feeling he was thinking about tonight, hell it was on Dean's mind as well.

He didn't want Sam to endure more pain he already looked like hell, the bruises on his face were nothing compared to the ones hidden on his chest and stomach. Dean wished Sam had just let him break into the damn prison but then again Sam had a good point. If he was in jail he couldn't save Sam and that was just not an option.

"Here you go hun," a waitress said putting their meals on the tables.

Dean looked up to see the blonde he had met at the bar last night "Thanks" he said then quickly added "I'm sorry to hear about your friend."

"Who told you?" she asked sounding surprised

"The bartender" Dean replied.

"Oh you mean Steve."

"Ah guy with a stubby black beard?"

"Yeah that's him" she replied, "He's been so good to me" she sighed "well I better go"

"Oh of course and once again I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you" she then turned and walked off.

Dean then turned back to face Sam, who was picking at his food with his fork "you ok kiddo?"

"Yeah I'm fine" Sam mumbled not taking his eyes of his food.

Dean gave Sam a long look before starting his on own meal. They stayed silent through the whole meal, each locked in their own mind. Dean was worried about Sam; this was the last thing he needed. Dean knew he had to save Sam before it was too late, he couldn't let Sam go through that kind of pain, he wouldn't let him.

Sam on the other hand was more concerned about tonight, he could try and stay awake all night but he was exhausted. Also the painkillers made him feel sleepy and he needed them to keep the searing pain away. No matter how much Sam didn't want to get the crap beaten out of him he was going to have to endure it for one more night. Tomorrow they would find out who this spirit was and they would salt and burn his burns. Then they'd go back to their normal lives… right?

**--------**

It was now late at night and the boys were extremely exhausted. After their meal they decided that they'd stay awake all night, but it was proving difficult. Sam's injures made him weak and the painkillers made him tired and soon he couldn't fight the darkness that wanted to clam him. So Dean lay in his bed fighting to stay awake. The spirit only came when they were both sleeping and if he stayed awake then Sam would be fine.

But Dean too was soon claimed by sleep, his eyes slid shut and soft snores filled the room. The air grew cold and he snuggled further under the covers, a feeling of dread washed over him but he did not wake. Dean's opened and he looked around the dark room, everything was in its place, the shot gun which was loaded with rock salt sat near the door and Sam was sleeping peacefully in the bed next to him.

So why did Dean have a bad feeling about this? Slowly sleep took over once more but he was woken up again by the sound of Sam grunting, he sat up and looked at his little brother but everything seemed ok. Dean sighed then his eyes fall onto his brother's face, fresh blood was smeared on his cheek and Dean immediately jumped to his feet.

Dean suddenly noticed a strange figure towering over Sam, he couldn't quit see what it was or what it was doing but he knew he had to get rid of it. He quietly walked to the shotgun and picked it up. He aimed and fired, a shrieking wail echoed around the room and bits of salt dropped to the ground, Dean lowered the gun and took in a deep shaky breath.

Suddenly he could see the strange shadow over Sam again and he fired of three rounds, another cry echoed around the room then it fell silent. Dean rushed to Sam and knelt down beside him "Sammy."

Sam was dry heaving and his body shaking badly, Dean shook him slightly and his hazel eyes opened half away. He was still dry heaving and his body was now shaking worse then before.

"Hey shhh" Dean said in a soothing voice "breathe Sammy, _just breathe_."

Sam pulled his head beneath the covers and tried to calm his breathing; he rolled onto his stomach and took deep breaths. Dean stared down at Sam with concern; he placed a hand on Sam's back and started to rub circles.

"Sammy" he whispered "hey kiddo are you ok?"

Sam only grunted in reply.

"Did he hurt you" Dean asked as he continued to rub Sam's back.

"Yes" Sam muttered from under the covers.

Dean swallowed hard then heaved a deep sigh "Get some sleep Sammy, I'll take a look at you in the morning." Dean gave Sam a soft pat on the back then walked back to his bed. He climbed in and pulled the covers up then rolled onto his side so he could keep an eye on Sam, who was still slightly shaking. Dean watched Sam carefully but Sam's body continued to tremor.

"Hey kiddo you sure you're ok?"

"I'm fine Dean" Sam rasped from under the covers then he rolled onto his side and faced the opposite wall.

Dean watched Sam with concern for a while longer then sleep once again took over.

**--------**

Dean's eye slowly opened but he shut them tight as the bright sunlight that was shinning through the window hurt like hell. He groaned then tried opening his eyes again, this time it didn't hurt. He sat up and looked to the bed next to him, it was empty but before panic could set in he heard the sound of running water.

Dean then noticed that the sheets had been stripped from the bed, Dean then remembered he had shot the spirit above Sam's bed there was probably rock salt over the sheets. So without much thought Dean stood and made his way to the kitchen, he switched the jug on then waited for the water to boil. He heard the jug click off then the door to bathroom opened and out walked Sam, Dean turned to see Sam, who looked worse then he did yesterday.

He had more bruises on his face and he was holding hi arm against his chest, he looked tired and the look in his eyes hurt Dean. He looked so lost and so scared and that broke Dean's heart to see his younger brother so lost.

"I'm ok Dean, really" Sam said as though he had read Dean's mind.

"You sure Sammy?"

"Yeah" Sam's voice cracked slightly as he spoke because he wasn't sure if he was ok.

"Ok will then lets eat then go out to the prison and see if we can find out where horny Casper is buried."

"Maybe I'll just stay here" Sam taking a seat on the bed.

Seeing Sam wince Dean walked over to him and sat down beside "You sure you're ok?" Dean asked softly "You look like crap."

"Thanks Dean" Sam said bluntly.

"Sammy" Dean said then cut himself off "I'll go check out the prison you stay and take it easy."

Sam only gave a nod in reply.

"I won't be long" Dean stood and walked towards the table where the keys were sitting, he picked them up then walked outside and shut the door softly behind him.

**--------**

Dean walked up a flight of stairs and stopped before two metal doors, he pushed one open and stepped inside the old prison. He walked over to a group of people who where listening to an old man who was obviously their tour guide. He had thin grey hair, light green eyes and a scar above his left eye; he looked to be about 50 or more.

Dean walked over the tour group and stood at the back; he listened very carefully but found nothing to be of use to him. Finally they started the tour. They were now walking through the cellblock, allowing Dean to study every cell carefully, the cells were so tiny that it was amazing two people could fit in them, and this corridor was lined with many old cells.

"This is where Cole Collins was kept" the tour guide said, "He murdered 23 people in one year" the guide said in whispered voice "he was caught six years later and sentenced to death." The guide went quiet then spoke again "some people say he stills walks these very corridors and some say they've seen him sitting in his cell" the man turned around to face a metal door that was shut "he was kept in this very cell" he took hold of the handle and slowly wrenched opened the door.

Once the door was fully opened Dean got a good look inside the cell, there was single bed with white blanket on it and thin pillow. There were a four ion bars that allowed the prison some light but otherwise the cell was empty. Dean didn't need a tour of the prison he needed to know where Cole Collins was buried. And he needed to know now.

Finally the tour wrapped up and Dean approached the tour guide, who was saying goodbye to a family. Dean walked over to him and introduced himself as 'Dean Gregory' a college student that wanted to know about the prisoners who used to be here.

"Well lots of prisoners came through those doors" he said revering to the metal doors "but Cole Collins was really something" he scratched his chin lazily "killed 23 people in one year."

"So you don't know by any chance where he is buried do you?" the man gave him a strange look and Dean quickly added, "For research, they want to know where the prisoner is buried."

"Well if I remember correctly, Cole Collins wasn't buried."

"What do you mean?" Dean knew fully well what the tour guide meant but he didn't want it to be true.

"Well son he was cremated" he replied, "He's ashes are kept in the prison" he motioned towards a black hutch with glass doors "he's family didn't want them so the prison took them, you know just so the guides can say here's Cole Collins remains I guess" he then started to chuckle and Dean responded with a fake chuckle as well. "So son is that all you needed?"

"Yeah thanks" Dean gave a small smile "I better get back to class."

**--------**

Sam sat on his bed staring out into space; he was so lost in his own mind that he didn't even hear Dean enter the room. For that matter he was so consumed in his own thoughts he didn't even hear Dean when he started speaking to him. He didn't realise Dean was in the room until he couched down in front of him, he felt Dean place a hand on his knee and he pulled away with a fright.

"Hey Sammy" Dean said soothingly "Are you ok?" Dean asks trying to hide the worry that laces his voice

"Ahh… yeah" Sam quickly stood but he winced in pain as he did.

Dean quickly stood after him, he placed a hand on Sam's shoulder and gave it a gently squeeze, Sam once again flinched at the touch. Ignoring it Dean went straight on telling Sam what he knew.

"Ok so Cole hasn't been buried" Dean let go of Sam's shoulder and moved to sit at the two seated table "He's cremated so we've got until sundown to find away to kill this bastard" Dean folded his arms over his chest "So you're up Sammy boy, unless you want to be Casper's bitch."

Dean hears Sam mumble something but he doesn't quite catch it "What was that Samantha?"

"Dude, could you be any more insensitive? I mean, you have no idea what I'm going through Dean! And you won't know what I will have to go through tonight and probably every night until that _thing_ kills me!" Sam yelled.

"Calm down Sammy, I didn't mean anything by it, just trying to lighten you up a bit. And don't worry man, I mean nothing is going to happen to you ok."

"Yeah well it's already too late…" Sam let slip before he knew what he was saying.

"What do you mean too late Sammy?" Dean questioned, not wanting to believe.

"You know what I mean Dean," Sam turned away from his brother's piercing eyes, "It happened last night." he said, his voice no more than a whisper.

"But it happened to Lola on the… on the third night?"

"Well I guess you were wrong Dean." Sam couldn't look at his brother, and Dean was glad for it as tears threatened to break free.

"Sam, Sammy I am so sorry, I said it wasn't going to happen, I told you I wouldn't let it happen. I failed you." Dean said to the floor.

"It's not your fault" Sam whispered then walked off.

Dean was lost his own mind that he didn't even notice Sam had gone; finally he pulled himself together and found himself the only one in the room. "Sammy" Dean turned around but found the bathroom empty "Shit" Dean grabbed the keys to the Impala and raced out the door. He ran to the car and jumped in.

The engine roared to life then Dean sped out of the parking lot. He tore down the street and about a half a minute later he saw Sam walking with his hands in his pockets and his head down. Dean pulled the car over to the curve and drove along side Sam.

"Sam, get in the car."

Sam stops walking but doesn't turn to meet Dean's steady gaze.

"Come on Sammy," Dean tries once again.

Sam turns to look at his brother, he knew it was wrong to just walk out but he needed space, and yet his brother's face showed just how worried and sorry he was too. So he got in.

Still without any reply Dean drove on.

**TBD**


	5. Chapter 5 The Darkness

**Chapter five: **_**The Darkness**_

The car was silent, not even Dean's typical music was blaring through the speakers, each brother trapped in his own thoughts when suddenly Dean pulls over. "Maybe you should get checked Sammy… I mean maybe you're wrong about this?" Dean's voice holds a small sign of hope.

"I don't want to Dean, I know it happened and there would be too many questions."

"Sammy think about this, you need to get checked out, especially if you're sure, just do it for me, I'll answer the questions."

Sam let a sigh escape then he slowly turned to face Dean, who looks like he was ready to break down "Ok… I'll go."

"Alright then" Dean pulls the car back onto the road and heads towards the hospital.

Dean pulls the car into the closet empty spot and kills the engine before getting out, he rushes to Sam side so he can give him hand but Sam pulls away from his grip, grumbling something under his breath. Sam pushes past Dean and makes his way to the sliding glass doors that allow entry to the town's hospital.

They enter a corridor then they walk to the end where an old lady is sitting behind the desk. She looks up at the boys and gave them a small smile before asking what they need help with.

"Um… yeah" Dean replies nervously "my brother was attacked."

The elderly lady looked past Dean and looked at Sam, she muttered a silent 'oh my' when she saw the many bruises that covered his skin. "Um… take a seat in the waiting room" she replied sounding a bit frazzled "Doctor Kevin Markovic will see you soon. Oh sorry your names please?"

"Sam and Dean Miller" Dean informed her before walking off following the route Sam had already taken.

The room is half empty and Sam and take a seat in the furthest corner. Sam sits in the very corner and stares down at the ground trying to shield himself in the all too bright room, he feels naked under the lights, as if everyone already knew what had happened to him. Dean on the other hand sits down beside his brother and quietly assesses the room. There are many families there with them, all in some sort of pain for a loved one, but he was sure none would understand how he was feeling himself. One family in particular had caught his eye, a small group of people talking with a doctor the words couldn't be heard but judging from their faces he knew it was good news, he only hoped the same wouldn't be for him.

Suddenly Dean was pulled from his thoughts when he hears his fake name being called out. He stands and looks around the room seeing a male doctor with a short blonde hair and green eyes, with a sigh he walks slowly towards him with Sam attentively walking on behind him.

"Sam and Dean Miller" he asked.

Dean gives a nods then the doctor led them down a hall and to his office.

They walk in and the Doctor turns to face Sam "So, Samuel Miller, just sit up on this bed for me thanks?" He asks looking up at Sam.

"Just Sam is fine" Sam says sitting on the bed.

"Ok, care to tell me what happened here?" the doctor asks indicating the bruises.

Dean walked to Sam and stood beside him "He went down the wrong alleyway."

"Ok" the doctor walked to Sam "Can I get you to remove your shirt."

Sam gives a small nod then he pulled his jacket and his shirt followed, he passed them to Dean while the doctor moved to examine him.

"Just tell me if it hurts as I push down, ok?"

Sam gives a curt nod in reply.

Slowly the doctor runs his hands along Sam's ribs and down his chest, then around his face examining his nose, watching Sam the entire time gauging his reaction with each push. "Ok, I don't think there is anything broken in there, just some severely bruised ribs, it will be painful to get up from a lying or seated position but we can prescribe some painkillers for that. Is that all?" the doctor informs the two weary men.

"Well yeah, I think there might be something else-" Sam begins only to be interrupted by Dean.

"Doc, I think my brother has, well has been… um raped?" Dean says coughing out the last part in a mumble.

"Really?" Doctor Markovic asked raising an eyebrow, "why do you think that now?" he asks looking at Dean, almost not believing Sam was attacked anymore.

"I told him, it um, it hurts. A lot. And I was just worried if maybe they did something after I passed out. Can you, you know check it or something?" Sam said covering for Dean.

"Very well, there is a rape kit we can perform; we just need your permission?"

Sam and Dean both nodded in reply.

"Ok then Sam can I get you to remove your jeans and I'll take a look?" the doctor passed Sam a thin blue gown. "Then put this on."

"Uh… yeah" Sam stands and turns to face Dean who is watching him with concern "are you going to stay?"

"Do you want me to?"

Sam gives a slight nod and Dean catches a glimpse of the tears forming in his eyes.

"Lie down on your side now Sam, this may hurt a bit." the doctor said after Sam has shed his clothes and was covered only by the thin hospital gown. Dean sat himself down by Sam's head not looking at the doctor at all. It was only as the doctor begin did Sam appear to struggle, his breathing speed up and his whole body tremors. "Sam, you will have to relax for me now." the doctor orders looking at Dean for help.

"Hey Sammy, here, give me your hand." Dean says softly, extending his hand towards Sam.

Sam slowly reaches a shaky hand out towards Dean's one and clasps it with little power, he doesn't want to show his weakness in front of his brother, but he can't go through this without him. Sam's eyes clenched shut as he try's to imagine himself anywhere but in the doctor's office, completely blocking out everything and everyone else in the room.

Sam can feel the doctor start the exam and as he does Dean noticed once again that Sam is hurting. He can see the tell tale signs of Sam closing himself off for protection; he's done it too many times as well. Dean speaks soft words to his brother, most of what he's saying doesn't make any sense, but with the steady stream of words, and his own voice, he knows his brother will relax somewhat.

Sam doesn't even notice when Dean starts talking to him, but he can hear his soothing voice carry him away from the current situation. The words spoken is sweet nothingness that does eventually help him to relax slightly, however it is with this that he remembers the reason why he has to relax. Tears slowly carve a path down his cheeks as he silently cries. _Why did this have to happen? Why did this have to happen?_ He questions in his mind wishing it were all over.

Dean watches Sam's face. He sees the very moment Sam relaxes slightly but then also sees how much pain his brother is in. All the pain he promised Sam would not have to experience. Carefully he brings his other hand up to Sam's face and sweeps a calloused thumb over a tear as it runs down Sam's cheek.

"Don't cry Sammy, I'm here, it will all be over soon, you're ok." Dean says continuing his steady stream of words.

Slowly Sam's eyes open a crack to look at Dean, his eyes pleading with his brother to make it all be over. They _both_ know that it will occur more times than this first, and they both have realized that neither one of them would be able to handle it again.

"I'm here for you Sammy, it will be ok soon, and I mean it this time." Dean said gently squeezing Sam's hand for emphasis.

Sam's eyes widen for a moment then return to a normal size as he looks up at the brother he has always idolised. "Thank you Dean." He says softly, his voice hoarse from the strain.

"There is no reason to thank me Sam, _I_ did this to you, _I_ failed to protect you!" Dean said in a forced whisper trying to get his point across.

"But _you_ are here now, _you_ are the person making me feel slightly human again," Sam replied closing his eyes for a moment.

"Ok boys, Sam you can get dressed again, I just have to send some things to the lab, then I will come back to talk to you both, in the mean time just stay here, I'll be back shortly." Dr Markovic said leaving the room.

"Here Sammy," Dean said giving back his clothes while turning away to give him some privacy.

"Dean, it's going to happen again tonight. Isn't it?" Sam asked once he was dressed.

"I can't promise you it won't. But you will be ok Sammy, then tomorrow I'll sort this mess out and you will be ok, that I can promise you." Dean said with conviction.

"Thanks Dean." Sam said offering a small smile to his brother.

The two Winchesters sat next to each other in silence waiting for the doctor's return. His return was signaled by the opening and closing of the door.

"Ok, Sam, do you want to talk in private or do you want Dean here with you?" the doctor asked looking at Sam.

Dean also turned to Sam as they waited for an answer. "No offence Doc, but he was sitting with me while I was getting examined, why wouldn't I want him here for the results too? Just tell me what you found out." Sam answered looking directly into the doctor's eyes, almost as a challenge.

Doctor Markovic coughed and Dean smirked. "Ok. Well Sam, it seems that the rape kit was positive, I'm sorry Sam, but there is still one concern."

"What do you mean? A concern? Your concern wasn't in the fact that you just confirmed that my brother was raped?" Dean said not bothering to control his voice levels.

"Dean!" Sam warned but also curious.

"No, by no means did I mean that. The tests I sent to the lab, they all came back negative; however there were obvious symptoms for rape." The doctor explained.

"What do you mean negative?" Sam asked.

"There was no trace of hair or any other trace of DNA. Do you remember anything else that might be able to help us?"

"Um, no, I mean I passed out after they bashed me, and it was dark so I didn't see anything, can… can I just go home?" Sam asked starting to stand up.

"I'm sorry Sam, but no you can't. We not only have to keep you in for observation but also we need to try to figure this out. I mean for the depth of the abrasions, there should be some sort of DNA trace, but there was none what so ever." The doctor explained. "I will set you up with your own room and make sure only one nurse treats you, for privacy." He said moving to leave the room again.

"Um thanks?" Dean said when Sam didn't answer. Once again Sam withdrew into himself, staring at the floor unblinking. "Hey Sammy? Are you ok?" Dean asked once the doctor had left them alone.

"Dean?" He asked almost if he didn't remember that Dean had been with him the entire time. "No, I mean, no I am not ok, I know why there are no DNA traces, but if I told anyone they would probably lock me up in the psych ward!" Sam said frustrated with his current situation.

"I know it's hard Sammy, but at least this way you can be safer rather than if we were just in some motel. I'll stay with you too, we can like keep each other awake for as long as possible, kinda like a sleepover, I mean in a hospital anyway." Dean said trying to make light of the situation.

"Huh, ok, thanks Dean, I mean for trying," Sam said giving Dean one of his common small smiles.

"Excuse me? Mr Samuel Miller?" A nurse with wavy blonde hair asked while poking her head in the room.

"Yes?"

"I'm here to take you to your room?" she said rolling a wheelchair into the room.

"Do I need that?"

"Hospital policy, sorry sir," She said giving Sam a suggestive smile.

"Score Sammy!" Dean whispered softly.

"Nice Dean, real nice!" Sam replied as the nurse wheeled him off to his room with Dean walking next to him.

For some reason, having Dean with him made going through this whole mess more manageable. And he was glad that they were in it together.

**TBC **


	6. Chapter 6 The Blame Game

**Chapter six: **_**The Blame Game**_

Sam sat on the hospital bed staring out into space, everything was confusing right now. He couldn't understand how from one day things were normal and now everything was falling apart. He and Dean were on a normal hunt now everything had changed and he was having trouble believing it. How could this have happened? Why had it happened? Here he was trying to help someone and he ends up the victim himself, it made no sense.

"Hey Sammy."

Dean's voice cut through the silence like a knife and it was enough to get Sam's attention. Sam looked up at Dean as he sat down next to him; he gave him a soft smile before speaking.

"I'm going back to the motel to get you some stuff, ok?" Dean asked watching for Sam's reaction.

Sam gave a small nod in reply but Dean wasn't fooled he could see how much Sam was hurting. The pain in his eyes was enough to break Dean's hardened heart, and with great strength he stood and walked from the room.

Sam heaved a sigh then rested his head against the pillows, his eyes slipped shut and darkness took over.

**--------**

Dean stared out the windscreen; his mind was focused on one thing _'save Sammy_.' He couldn't fail him again, he just couldn't. Dean entered the parking lot and got out of the car, he made a beeline to the front door of his motel room. He opened the door and stepped in but he a strange feeling washed over him. The room felt cold.

The room felt empty, he felt empty.

Dean moved further into the room and stared packing some of Sam's clothes into his duffle. The whole time he was mentally kicking himself for letting Sam get attacked, how could he have let it happen? He told Sam that it wasn't going to happen, but it did. How could he have been so stupid? How could he have let himself fall sleep?

Again Dean started to find faults in himself.

If only he had stayed awake like he was supposed to Sam wouldn't be in hospital and he wouldn't be alone in the motel. This should have never happened. But since it had Dean was going to be the one that would fix it. He always patched Sam up as a kid now he had to patch him up again. But this time it was more then a simple scraped knee to just _kiss better_. Now some sexed up spirit had attacked him and it was Dean's job to kill it and put Sam back together again. To fix his little brother.

Yes that was the plan kill it put Sam back together again.

If only it were that simple.

**--------**

Sam lay beneath the blankets, he felt cold and rather unwell. He also felt dirty and ashamed; he hated himself for letting this happen. Why couldn't he be more like Dean? Why did he have to be the weak one? Why was this kind of stuff always happening to him? He was a shame to his family, they were strong and always looked after themselves but he couldn't seem to do anything without Dean.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door but Sam was so withdrawn that he barely even noticed it, let alone acknowledged it. A different doctor entered the room and noticed how the patient who had been admitted for mild bruising still had many bruises, his eye was nearly shut and his throat looked badly damaged all around as if someone had tried to choke the boy, now he would have thought that the bruises should have been classed as severe rather than mild. He walked over to the bed and begun examining the boy. Recklessly forgetting to read the rest of the chart.

Sam felt a hand touch his shoulder, he flinched under the touch and his body begins to tremor. He feels himself being turned over and realises that it isn't Dean that is there with him, instead it is some stranger. His heart begins to speed up, multiple possibilities and scenarios are running through his mind for what this person could want with him, all of them ending with his body being taken advantage of. It's an endless and vicious cycle, the thoughts cause his breathing to become quick and shallow, then someone grabs his arm roughly and it is enough to make his mind snap into more unorthodox thoughts. His eyes are open but don't register anything or anyone in the room, barely hears the doctor yell at a nurse for assistance.

Finally he is alone again. His breathing still rapid, his heart rate still skyrocketing, but now he is alone. And tired. His body is starved of oxygen and his lids feel like ten ton weights willing his eyes to close. But all he can think about is wishing Dean was there with him, how Dean would have managed to stay calm and at the very least keep him calm.

With the last ounce of strength his body can muster he whispers; "Dean" in a hoarse plea.

**--------**

Dean opened the door to Sam's room and quietly stepped in, he saw that Sam was practically hidden completely beneath the covers, and he was shaking slightly. So Dean sat the duffle and Sam's laptop down on the chair then he sat himself down on the edge of the bed, he placed a hand on Sam arm and gave it a gentle squeeze. He felt Sam flinch then relax as he realised who it was.

Dean gave Sam a small smile then started stroking his messy brown hair, smoothing it back in place. "Can I get you anything kiddo?"

Dean stared down at Sam noticed the bruising around his throat '_that wasn't there before' _Dean thought before going into total panic. Sam must have fallen asleep while I was out, _he was attacked again_ He was brought out of his current panicky state by the door opening allowing an older doctor with short grey hair and black-rimmed glasses to enter the room.

"Mr Miller?" The doctor asked, pushing his black-rimmed glasses back up "I'm Dr Julian Freeman, I examined your brother earlier today, no one was present, but I noticed that he had a red mark around his throat. Can you tell me what happened?"

"I'm sorry Doc, but where is Doctor Markovic? I mean Sam was more comfortable with him, and now look at him," Dean said looking at his brother, who was shaking and was very pale.

"Ah, yes, as I was examining him he seemed to have become restless and I was trying to calm him down to complete my exam, but he wouldn't, so I left and was just notified that you had returned" the old doctor replied.

"Doc, I'm sure you read that he had just been attacked, how could you not know what is wrong with him!" Dean yelled raising his voice. "Now he won't even respond to me, where is Dr Markovic?

"I can go get him, but I was just ensuring that his throat didn't close, I also need to insert a drip, for some antibiotics that will help with the swelling, but I can't get him to stop shaking."

"I don't want you doing anything to my brother, call Dr Markovic and he can do it, not you," Dean said turning away from the doctor and towards his brother who was shaking harder than before.

The doctor heaves a sigh then leaves the room, Dean watches him like a hawk until he has shut the door then he turns his gaze back to his frightened brother. Dean continued to stroke Sam's hair and offer words of comfort "Hey Sammy, relax you're safe" he cooed, "I'm here, no ones going to hurt you, ok. Not while I'm here."

"D… Dean" Sam rasps.

"Shhh Sammy" Dean said soothingly "I'm here."

"I… it hurts."

"Where Sammy" Dean asked with concern.

"Everywhere" he said with a broken sob.

"Shh… Sammy relax for me ok."

"Dean make it stop" Sam pleaded, "Please make it stop."

"Sammy just try and get some sleep ok" Dean said softly.

"What about the spirit?" Sam asked becoming more frightened.

"I'll wake you up if it shows up" Dean replies "I don't think it can hurt you when you're awake, or at least while I'm awake here with you." Dean watched Sam's hazel eyes drifted shut then a knock came at door, Sam jumped leaving Dean to reassure him that he was perfectly safe and that no one was going to hurt him.

Dr Markovic walked in and approached Sam and Dean carefully. He held his blue clipboard against his chest, knuckles white where he clutched it.

"I have some news that I think you both should hear," he says indicating the fact that Sam should listen.

"What is it doc?" Dean asks with worry laced in his voice, as he was too tired to try and hide it anymore.

"I was informed that Sam was examined by another doctor? Um, Dr Freeman, correct?" Dean nodded, "Well it seems that his exam has revealed that more bruises have appeared. Now unfortunately only you, Dean, were present with Sam the entire time and now some of the senior staff members are voicing concerns about your presence here." The doctor explained.

"What are you trying to say? Do you think I'm attacking my brother? That I could _rape_ my brother?" Dean asked his voice coming out as a shrill.

"Unfortunately, yes, with the lack of DNA and the new bruises it seems that there is only one explanation which is you. Now I'm afraid you will be asked to leave until all this is cleared up."

"I'm not leaving my brother!" he said.

"I'm sorry, but there is nothing I can do."

Both Dean and the doctor begun raising their voices at each other, both equally unaware that Sam had listen to the entire conversation and had tears falling down his face.

"No," Sam said, although his voice not loud enough to carry to either person. "No!" he shouted which immediately grabbed both men's attentions. "De… Dean stays with me, _he_ didn't do this to me, and he never could. But something else did and instead of trying to figure out who, you all go for the only person who is looking out for me. Leave Dean alone before _we_ leave this hospital." Sam said, his voice strained from the damage to his throat and merely because of how tired he was.

"I… I'm sorry," the doctor said watching Sam wheeze.

"Thanks Sam. Kid? Are you ok?" Dean asked as he noticed Sam's breathing becoming more forced.

"Dean, step back, I think his airway is closing up on him from irritation. Nurse!" the doctor shouted as two nurses entered the room, one pulling Dean away from his brother the other helping the doctor.

"Sam! No Sammy!" Dean yelled struggling against the nurse trying to get back to his brother's side.

"He is too tense! We have to sedate him!" it was the last thing Dean heard the doctor say as he was left on the other side of the door, waiting any news on his brother's condition.

**--------**

It was only a few minutes later when the two nurses and the doctor emerged from his brother's room, however each minute felt like an eternity in hell.

"How's my brother?" Dean demanded the minute the doctor exited the room.

"He is stable now. The muscles around Sam's throat had swelled causing the airway to become constricted; it was as if he was being choked by his own body. And then, of course, him speaking and further irritating his throat caused the body to react badly causing a mild panic attack, which completely closed off his airway. We were lucky we caught it though, if it had swelled up any more it might have been too late, we might not have been able to help him." The doctor explained with a calm voice that you only could get after having been hardened from many experiences like this.

"Can I see him now?" Dean asked waiting to get to his brother.

"There is something else though Dean."

"What?"

"To help your brother breathe we had to insert a tube into his throat."

"Wha… What do you mean? Is he ok?" Dean asked now desperate to see his brother.

"Dean, we had to give him a mild sedative so that he could relax enough to allow us to insert the tube, however once he comes around again he is going to be very agitated and confused. The tube is going to be painful and hard to get use to, but hopefully it should only need to be there for a day at most, we also set him up with a course of antibiotics and other medication that should ease the swelling." The doctor said watching as Dean's face slowly paled.

"Is he ok though?"

"Yes, he will be fine, although it will be impossible for him to talk, and he will be scared, I think it would be best to keep him sedated but with Sam's condition I think your presence will be enough. Just go and be there for your brother."

"Thank you Doctor." Dean said swiftly walking into Sam's room again.

Dean stopped short at the sight of his younger brother, his skin was pale and shone with sweat, his hair damp and plastered against his head, but none of that was as frightening as the large tube that entered his baby brother's mouth. It was practically his life support.

He pulled the chair up next to his brother and reached out for one of Sam's limp hands. "Oh Sammy, I am so sorry, why does it always have to be you? You are so strong." Dean said, his voice soft, too scared to disturb the peace.

Slowly Sam started waking up as the medicine's effects started to wear off. Dean noticed straight away how his brother started to panic. His body was tense, and although his eyes weren't open yet he could tell that they were rapidly moving behind his eyelids. The machine monitoring his brothers breathing started to beep faster as Sam's eyes opened.

"Hey Sam, Its Dean, relax now for me ok Kiddo? Don't worry about anything, just listen to me, you are ok, I am right here." Dean said running his hand through Sam's hair as his other hand held on to Sam's.

Sam was frantic. Something was in his mouth stopping him from being able to yell for help and his breathing felt strange, forced even. He could hear a voice trying to calm him down but all he could remember was some sort of argument, _Dean had to leave_, and then nothing.

Sam's eyes snapped open, tracking the room searching for anything that shouldn't be; only to see his brother's worried face. Dean's green eyes meeting his own hazel ones. He couldn't ask for help, but his brother was there, he would help him.

"Sam, relax ok? Your throat was damaged, the doctors have helped you, but now you have to relax." Dean said softly still running his hand through Sam's soft hair.

His eyes met Dean's begging for help, pleading to be freed.

"Sammy, you have a breathing tube, you have to let it breathe for you ok? Don't fight it, it will only make things worse."

Slowly Sam begun to calm down a bit, the steady stream of his brother's calm and soft words and the contact he had with his brother was showing him that he was indeed safe. Unshed tears stung the backs of his eyes but he held them in noticing how Dean was also so close to tears, but neither could let that happen, not now.

"Are you better now?" Dean asked cautiously.

A small nod signaled that Sam had in fact calmed down enough for Dean to be able to sit down and sigh in relief.

"I brought some clothes for you, and your laptop to do some research, but I think it would be best for you to just relax and get some rest for now." Dean said.

Sam's eyes were questioning, and without needing any further explanation Dean responded.

"Don't worry Sam, I'm not going anywhere and I won't let anything else happen to you, get some rest." Dean said softly.

Slowly Sam's eyes drifted shut and as he was lulled to sleep by Dean's caress.

Once Dean was sure his Sammy was fast asleep he leant over and placed a gentle kiss against his forehead, allowing himself time to calm down too. It was going to be a long night.

**TBC**


	7. Chapter 7 The Promise

**Chapter seven: **_**The Promise**_

The sun seeped through the hospital curtains and an orange glow was cast over the sleeping figure in the bed. The warmth of the sun made the young man in the bed stir until he was finally awake. His hazel eyes scanned the room, for a moment he had forgotten why he was here but it all came crashing back. He was here because some ghost had taken advantage of him.

He closed his eyes tight and tried to stop the tears from falling, he wished that this had never happened. He wanted nothing more then to wake up and find that this was just a bad dream. But he knew it wasn't, he couldn't wake up. He went to call out to Dean but he couldn't, the tube down his throat meant that he couldn't talk and he once again started to panic.

He looked around the room trying to find Dean but when he couldn't see him his anxiety rose further. He went to sit up but his battered and bruised body wouldn't allow it. He tried again but as he did he saw the door open and Dean stepped in, carrying a cup of coffee. He rushed to Sam and immediately started to calm him down.

"Hey, easy there Sammy" he said softly "I'm here."

Sam calmed down a bit but Dean could still see the fear in his hazel eyes.

"I'll get the doctor and see if he can remove the tube, hows that?"

Sam gave a small nod and a single tear ran down his cheek.

Dean quickly wiped the lone tear and gave his little brother a small smile "I'm gonna make everything better Sam, I promise."

Sam gave another nod.

"I'll be back in a minute ok."

A short time later the door opened once again and in came Dean followed by the doctor.

"Your brother tells me you would like to have the breathing tube removed?" the doctor starts continuing when Sam gives a small nod. "Ok, well let's see how your throat is looking and then we can talk about getting the tube out, I don't want to get your hopes up, so let me just tell you that it might not be today that it comes out. Ok?"

Doctor Markovic walks over to Sam and begins softly feeling around his neck, he takes note of the bruising around the neck and listens for how smoothly the mechanical breathing sounds. A few '_hm's_' and '_mm's_' are made; all the while Dean is holding Sam's hand.

"Well, ok, I think we can see how you go with out the tube, but I must warn you, you should keep talking down to a minimum as your throat is still very agitated and I wouldn't want it to swell up again." The doctor cautioned.

"Don't worry doc, I'll make sure he doesn't talk." Dean said giving Sam a small smile trying to make his brother feel better.

"Ok, here is what has to happen, Sam listen to me now, I'll ask you to take a deep breath in and then as you are blowing out as hard as you can, it will feel uncomfortable but you can not stop, we can't have the tube irritate your throat any more than it already is. Ok?" Dr Markovic explained.

Sam nods again, this time a bit more forceful ready to get the tube out of him.

"Ok then, Dean I think it would be best if you waited outside while we preform this quick procedure." The doctor said turning his back to Dean placing his own body in between Sam and Dean.

"I don't think so Doc, I'm not leaving Sammy!" Dean argued.

"It would be better for you if you didn't have to see this, alright now, come on."

"No, I'm staying here, right Sam?" Dean said looking towards his brother.

"Sam? I know you want your brother here with you but you need to concentrate on getting the tube out ok, Dean can be here." Sam simply shook his head. He was not _letting_ Dean leave him.

"See, Sam wants me here so I'm staying." Dean said making it final. He walked around the bed on the opposite side of the doctor and grabbed onto Sam's hand.

"Ok, deep breath for me now Sam." He did as told. "And out…" As Sam breathed out the doctor swiftly pulled out the breathing aid with practised ease as Sam begun coughing. "Ok Sam, It's all over, just relax now." The doctor said moving the machine away.

"Hey Sammy, you did it, you're ok now." Dean said rubbing circles around his brothers back as he struggled to breathe on his own.

"Here are some ice chips, we prefer not to give water right now but this will help sooth his mouth and throat, just feed it to him when he wants," Dr Markovic explained passing over a cup filled with ice. Quickly he re-examined Sam ensuring that no further damage was done and that Sam could breathe on his own then he left the two brothers alone.

"Here kiddo, take some of these ok," Dean said feeding Sam some ice chips with the teaspoon. "Are you ok?" he asked not bothering to hide his worry.

Sam gave a tired nod and accepted the ice feeling the cool wetness sooth his throat.

"Thanks" he croaked out returning one of the many soft smiles Dean had given him.

**--------**

It was now mid afternoon and Dean had spent the last four hours doing research; he had to find away to kill a spirit without salting and burning its bones. If he didn't then Sam would be killed at the end of the month and for Dean that was not an option. He had sold his soul so Sam could live and he wasn't about to let some sexed up spirit kill him.

But no matter how hard he searched he couldn't find a way to kill the spirit that was attacking his Sammy. So with only one option left he went to call Bobby, hoping that he had the answer he so desperately needed.

He went to punch the number in but the sound of a knock at the door stopped him. The door slowly opened then Dr Markovic walked in, once again holding his blue clipboard. Dean rose to his feet and moved to stand next to Sam's bed, he gave his brother a quick glance, he was still sound asleep.

"What's up doc?" Dean asked trying to sound relaxed even though he was really anxious.

"The Head Director wants to see you" he replied in a whispered voice so he wouldn't wake Sam.

"Uh… why?" Dean asked.

"Well" the doctor hesitated before continuing "Even though Sam said that you didn't attack him the staff still think it was you" he paused "look I'm sorry but you're going to have to come with me."

"I didn't abuse _my _brother!" Dean through clenched teeth "and I can't believe that you can think that I did! I would never _rape_ my brother, it's wrong and sick."

"Look Mr Miller I need you to come with me or you _will_ be thrown out of this hospital," he said firmly.

Dean looked down at his sleeping brother then looked up at the doctor with pure hate in his eyes "fine" he mumbled then spoke in a very clear tone "If he wakes up I want to be brought back here straight away, got it!"

The doctor gave a rather unconvincing nod but Dean was too tired to argue he just wanted to get this over with. The doctor walked out of the room and with a moments hesitation Dean followed suit, he felt bad for living Sam but he had to get this cleared up. He couldn't have the staff thinking that he had abused his brother.

Doctor Markovic opened a glass door and motioned for Dean to enter; he took a deep breath then crossed the threshold. He was now standing in a large posh office. A desk stood in front of a large window and three blue seats stood in front of it, behind the desk sat a woman with long black hair and green eyes.

She gave him a small, tight smile and motioned for him to sit. Dean moved forward and took a seat on the chair; Doctor Markovic sat next to him with his clipboard resting on his lap. The woman rested her hands on the table and locked eyes with Dean, who stared back at her.

"Mr Miller I am Doctor Alice Bronwic the head of this hospital" she introduced herself "and I've been informed that your brother has been raped and beaten and while staying here he was attacked again and it seems you were the only one present at the time."

"So the blames on me" Dean asked "because you say I was the only with him."

"It does leave room for suspicion Mr Miller" she said firmly "and the fact that there was no DNA."

Dean lent forward and locked eyes with the Head "Alice" he said with a smile "I can call you Alice right?" she didn't reply so Dean went on "I'm going to say this one more time" he lent in, his cheeky smirk turning into a very serious expression "I did not rape my brother, for a fact I wasn't here when he was attacked for the second time."

"Where were you?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I went back to our house to get my brother some things," he said flatly.

"So some invisible person tired to strangle your brother did they?"

_Oh God you don't know how close you are Lady._

"A doctor came to see Sam while I was gone" Dean thought for a moment trying to think of his name "Freeman, doctor Freeman came and when I got back Sam was scared out of his wits."

"So you're accusing Doctor Freeman, a loyal and trust worthy doctor, of trying to injure or kill your brother."

"Yes I am" Dean said with a nod.

Doctor Alice turned her attention to doctor Markovic then back to Dean "I'm calling the cops."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Dean exclaimed, "I just told you who the guy was and you're turning me in."

"Mr Miller there is no proof that Doctor Freeman tried to harm your brother in any way."

"And there's no proof that I attacked him either!" Dean shot back.

"You were the only one with him at the time."

"I told you that I went home to get some things" Dean said trying to hide his anger.

"You could be lying," she added.

"Check the security footage then."

Alice turned to Doctor Markovic "Get someone to look at them" she then turned back to face Dean "until then I want you out of my hospital."

"You can't kick me out" Dean spat.

Doctor Alice leant forwards and gave him a smirk "My hospital, my rules."

Dean gave a sigh then looked at the doctor with pleading eyes "Can I at least tell Sam that I'm being 'asked to leave'."

"Fine" she replied while standing "But I'm coming with you, I can't risk you taking advantage of the poor kid." She didn't see Dean roll his eyes towards her.

**--------**

"Hey Sammy it's me," Dean said as he entered the room, "This is Doctor Bronwic," Dean said as Alice followed him in.

Immediately Sam begun to become panicky, his body was shacking and he was shying away from the door.

"Don't worry Sam, I'll make sure Dean doesn't touch you," Alice said walking up closer to Sam's bed only making him start breathing rapidly.

"Sammy, I'm right here, don't worry about her, she wont touch you," Dean said ignoring the doctor and placing a hand on Sam's forehead. It was obvious Sam started relaxing when he felt his brother's touch.

"Sam, don't worry the hospital is sorting everything out now." She explained still trying to get closer to the brothers not wanting to admit the fact that Sam had calmed down with his brother's presence and gotten anxious with hers.

"Sammy, listen to me for a second ok kiddo? Open your eyes for me," Dean asked soothing his brother.

Sam opened his eyes and looked up meeting Dean's eyes completely ignoring the other person in the room.

"Sam I have to go, and I don't know when I will be allowed to come back ok?" Dean said, he decided that he was going to be straight with Sam and tell him everything, without beating around the bush.

"Don't…" he croaked out, throat still tender from before.

"I'm sorry kiddo, but this lady here is kicking me out of the hospital, she seems to think that it was me that hurt you Sammy, I'm sorry but I can't stay." Dean explained indicating Dr Bronwic.

"No! Don't leave me Dean! You promised everything would be ok! You said you would protect me! He will come and get me again!" Sam yelled even though his voice sounded completely different.

"Sam, relax, you shouldn't be screaming ok, I don't want you to need that tube again. And I promise you I will come back as soon as I can, it shouldn't be too long I promise." Dean said stroking his brother's hair away from his face.

"Please don't leave me, everyone leaves me." Sam sobbed. "Please stay."

"I can't baby brother. I'm sorry." Dean said wiping the stray tear away from his brother's cheek. Slowly Dean turned away from his brother and started towards the door.

"Don't worry Sam, He wont hurt you anymore," Alice said.

"No! Dean!" Sam yelled again. His breathing was rapid and his whole body was shaking, he was having another anxiety attack.

"Sam you have to relax," Dr Bronwic said touching Sam's arm.

"Don't! Don't touch me! Dean!" Sam yelled now thrashing around on the small hospital bed. Black spots started clouding his vision but nothing would stop him from trying to find his brother. He _needed_ his brother. His body was exhausted and moving his limbs felt like moving lead weights.

"Dean…" He begged as he passed out.

The entire time Dean had been standing outside his brother's door hearing the desperate pleas, it took everything he had, every ounce of his will not to go back to his brother. But he wasn't allowed in; he wasn't allowed to see his brother, all because of some _phantom rape_.

Dean left the hospital as soon as Alice walked out of his brother's room, he didn't even look back once, not because he didn't want to see his brother, but because he didn't want to give that bitch the satisfaction of knowing that she had split up the two.

All he could do now was call Bobby and hope he had some answers while he waited to see when he would be allowed to see his brother again.

**--------**

Meanwhile inside the security room of the hospital Dr Markovic was looking over the security tapes with one of the hospital security guards. Camera's had been placed around the corridors of the hospital for reasons such as this, and luckily there was one camera right near Sam Miller's room.

Dr Markovic did like the brothers and admired the bond between the two boys, he never thought a brother would be able to do something so sinister and he didn't want the blame to be placed on Dean however he couldn't argue with the evidence or lack there of. Unfortunately cases like this had to be reported to the Head of office, in this case Alice, and he knew how it was going to turn out the worst for Dean, he only wished these tapes could prove the innocence he believed was there.

"Well, here we see Mr Miller leaving his brother's room," said the slightly overweight security officer. "And I don't think he just went for a coffee or something like the other times, I mean we both saw how fast he returned, all under two minutes, he has already been away for five in this case."

All that was left now was to prove that someone else had entered the room and then he would be able to have Dean allowed back to see his brother._ That poor boy, he can barely handle it when Dean isn't around, I hope he is ok_, the doctor thought still watching the screen intensely.

"Aha!" Shouted the security guard pulling Dr Markovic from his thoughts, "Looky here, your Mr Miller was right, I mean look Dr Freeman enters the patient's room, and I'm guessing there was no need for him to have gone in there!" the officer said sounding proud of himself, this was probably the most excitement he had been involved with in a long time.

"This is exactly what I needed to see, thanks for that Joe." He said walking out of the small room. Now he needed to find Alice and tell her Dean was right then rush back to Sam to make sure he was alright. Hopefully he could convince Alice to go and bring Dean back so that he could look after Sam in the meantime.

"Dr Bronwic!" he yelled trying to catch his breath.

"Dr Markovic, I assume you've found something useful?" Alice asked with a stern look upon her face.

"Dean was telling us the truth, Dr Freeman did enter Sam's room without any authorisation, I specifically said that only one nurse was to enter that room, other than myself, and I am sure no one else would have given him permission, and the entire time Dean was not there. Later it seems that when Dean returned so did Dr Freeman and then I was called in which case Sam's breathing had become so erratic that I had to insert a breathing tube." Dr Markovic explained in a hurry.

"Well it does seem like Dean was telling the truth. I'll have someone look further into this as it seems Dr Freeman can be legible for a malpractice warning. In the meantime you can go and bring Dean back." Alice said already turning away.

"Wait, Dr Bronwic, please would you or someone else be able to get Dean? I would like to check on my patient, knowing him I am sure he is under a lot of stress without his brother. Those two boys are close, and we were wrong not to believe them."

"Very well, you go look after Sam, I'll make sure Dean finds out that his claim has been proven." She said turning away from the older doctor.

"Thank you!" he muttered up to whoever was listening.

**TBC**

**Please review :)**


	8. Chapter 8 No Matter What

**Chapter eight: **_**No Matter What**_

Sam's eyes slow opened and he looked around, all was dark and Dean was nowhere to be seen. He briefly wondered where his big brother was then it all came back. Dean had been made to leave the hospital and now Sam was left alone. He let a tear drop then he rolled onto his side but he winced in pain every time he moved his legs.

Something was not right.

He hadn't hurt this much this morning, which only meant one thing and that thought made Sam's stomach churn. He let a broken sob escape and he let tears run freely down his face. He let another sob out then he rolled onto his side ignoring the pain, he buried his head in the pillow and muttered 'why is this happening' over and over again.

As he continued to cry he could feel his throat aching and breathing became hard, he had to calm himself down or he would have another panic attack. He wanted Dean so much right now, but it wasn't happening so he would have to pull himself together for once. He lifted his head up and took a deep shaky breath.

He was startled when he heard his phone ringing; he reached over and grabbed it from his bedside table. He clicked the button and he answered with a croaky 'hello'.

'_Hey kiddo'_ came Dean's voice _"how you feeling?"_

"Dean" Sam whispered.

"_Sammy you sound upset, are you ok?"_

"D… Dean" Sam let a sob out before continuing "I… it attacked me again."

"How bad are you hurt?" Dean asked with worry laced in voice.

San shook his head and let tears fall.

"_Sammy?"_

"Dean… he… he" Sam couldn't say it, because once he said it would be true.

"_No Sammy, not again. It didn't? Please tell me he didn't!" _Dean practically yelled into the phone in frustration.

"Where are you Dean?" Sam sobbed softly only wanting his brother back.

"_I'm at the motel, that's it, I'm coming to get you and we are going to finish this hunt off!"_ he answered. "_Sammy, you have to leave the hospital for me, ok Kiddo? I'll be there soon, just get out without anyone seeing you."_ Dean said.

"O… Ok Dean." He sniffed.

"_I love you kid, I'll be there soon."_ He said hanging up the phone.

"I love you too Dean" Sam whispered.

**--------**

Dean hung up the phone and took a shaky breath, God why was this happening. He closed his eyes and threw a punch at the wall, the old wood cracked and his fist hurt like hell. But it was nothing compared to how he felt inside, he was broken inside and he wouldn't be whole again until he knew Sam was.

Dean looked around the room then walked out the door, shutting it roughly behind him. He made his way to the car and climbed in, the engine roared to life and he took of with a screech. The hospital was not that far away and it would only take a few minutes to get there providing traffic wasn't busy. He wanted to get to Sam fast; he knew that Sam really needed to be in a hospital right now but he needed to be with him more.

Finally Dean pulled into the hospital car park and drove around to the back; he knew that Sam would have taken the back door. He parked the car then he spotted his little brother sneaking out. He had his duffle over his shoulder and his laptop in the other hand; Dean quickly rushed over to him, not even bothering to turn the engine off.

He took the things from Sam and helped him back to the car; he put Sam's gear in the back then helped Sam into the passenger seat. Dean climbed back in and turned to face Sam, who was rather pale and sickly looking. He quickly turned the heater on then took off.

The car stayed silent for a few minutes until Dean couldn't help it, he had to know that his brother was still with him. He had to make sure he was not locked away somewhere deep within his mind.

"So you hungry?" Dean asked turning to face Sam "I can get you something, if you want."

"No thanks" Sam said not taking his eyes off the road.

"You need to eat Sam" Dean added, "You haven't eaten in a day you need to keep your strength up."

"I will" Sam said softly, his throat still hurt to talk and eating was out of the question.

Dean gave Sam a small smile then turned back to face the road the motel was just up ahead. Sam needed to get back in bed and rest while Dean figured this out. Wait! How was he going to do that? He had searched so hard but yet he found nothing. No, he wouldn't give up; he would save Sam, no matter the cost.

**--------**

The sound of music woke Dean from his peacefully sleep, he looked over and saw that Sam's phone was going off. He quickly answered so that it wouldn't wake Sam up. He placed it to his ear and whispered hello.

"_Dean" _came Bobby's voice, _"Where's Sam?"_

"Asleep" he replied while sitting and making his way to the front door.

"_Well tell your brother that I've had no luck with your new hunt."_

"Oh we actually figured it out" Dean quickly walked out of the room, being careful to shut the door softly behind him "it's a pissed of spirit."

"_So an easy salt and burn then?"_

"Actually" he dragged the word on before continuing, "There's no remains to burn… so we don't know what to do."

"Well there's an old myth that says if you shot a spirit with its remains and a few herbs you can kill it but it's just a myth as I said."

"But there is a chance it might work though, right?"

"_Well if you're lucky but I doubt it."_

"Bobby I need you to tell me what herbs I need to get."

Dean listened carefully as Bobby told him what he needed and once he finished he hung up and opened the door and walked back inside. He saw Sam sitting up look rather frightened, Dean quickly made his way to him and reassured him that he was safe. It didn't take him long to calm him down then he quickly told Sam what Bobby had said.

"So what do you reckon kiddo?" Dean asked softly "think it's worth a shot?"

Sam gave a small nod but didn't speak.

"Do you want something to eat or drink?"

"No thanks Dean I'm ok" Sam replied quietly.

"Sammy you need to eat."

"Do you know where Cole Collins ashes are?" Sam asked in a whispered voice.

"At the prison" Dean said placing a hand behind Sam's neck "I'll get the herbs then tonight I'll break in and get his remains."

"What if it doesn't work?" tears started to form in Sam's eyes and he had to try hard to keep them at bay.

"Then I will find another way" Dean assured "Sammy I promise you that I will kill this son-of-a-bitch."

"You can't promise me that Dean" Sam sobbed as tears ran down his bruised cheeks "You mightn't be able to save me this time."

"Hey, hey, hey" Dean said pulling Sam into a hug "I'm not gonna let some sick twisted spirit kill you, no matter what, I will save you. Ok Sammy? I am going to save you." Dean pulled back so he could look Sam in the eyes, he saw the tears running down his cheeks and the hurt in his eyes "Kiddo I'm gonna make everything better."

Sam gave a nod then wiped his tears away "Thanks Dean."

Dean pressed a quick kiss to Sam's forehead "anytime Sammy."

"So what now?" Sam asked with a small smile.

"You rest" Dean stood up "I'm gonna get the herbs then I'll come back and when I do you're eating ok."

"Ok" Sam said softly.

"Be back soon" he scruffled Sam's hair before leaving the room.

**--------**

"Alice" Dr Markovic called as he spotted her dart into her office "Alice" he stopped at the door and panted heavily.

"Kevin" she gasped, "What's wrong?"

"Sam's gone," he said taking a deep breath "I tried ringing Dean but he's not answering and Sam's disappeared."

Alice gave a sigh then moved to take a seat behind her desk "Do you think Dean could have something to do with it?"

"Alice I don't believe that Dean is responsible for this" he quickly defended "besides we proved that it was Dr Freeman who attacked Sam yesterday."

"I still don't believe that he did it!"

"Dean was gone when in it happened" Kevin added bitterly "the cameras proved that!"

"What about before?" she asked "Do you believe that he went down the wrong ally and got attacked."

Kevin sighed then sat down in the chair across from Alice "Do you really think someone is sick enough to use their own brother like that."

Alice lent forwards and rested her arms on the desk "Look Dean seems like a nice guy he also seems like the kinda guy who drinks too much" her voice was firm "and maybe he had a bad day at work decided to the go to pub, had one to many drinks came home and took his frustration out on Sam."

"Oh and I s'pose he raped him too!" Kevin said losing his patience.

"He could have" Alice said flatly.

"I don't believe he would" he snapped, "Dean was the only one who could calm Sam down and I don't think someone who violated their brother could do that!"

"Ok so say Sam did get attacked in ally then why did he up and go," she asked bitterly

"Because we kicked Dean out!" he spat "Sam must have gone after him! Which means we won't find Sam unless we find Dean" he paused "and Dean's not answering his cell."

"Well it's not our job to go chasing over runaway patient's," she said handing him a file "Go do your job and leave the rest up to me."

**--------**

Dean had spent the last hour trying to find the herbs that he needed but this stupid little town didn't seem to have what he was looking for and he was growing worried. He wanted to find these herbs before sundown; he didn't want Sam to have to suffer anymore. He had already gone through too much because of him.

With a heavy sigh Dean walked into a small shop that was supposedly meant to sell all sorts of herbs and spices and it was also the last one story in town. If this shop didn't have what Dean needed he didn't know what to do. He looked around the small shop a sweet smell hung in the air and it made him feel welcome.

The shop was small and cosy. It had three small aisles; each shelf had many herbs and spices on them. The counter was to the left and an elderly woman stood behind it. She said a brief hello to Dean as he entered the shop; he gave a quick reply then continued to on his way. He had managed to get a few of the herbs but he couldn't find the last three and this was his last hope.

He scanned the shelves carefully, making sure not to miss a thing. Finally he found a red packet that had one of the herbs from the list, '_five down, two to go'_ he said to himself.

It was getting late now and most shops had already closed for the night. _Probably gone home to their families for a nice home cooked meal_. He thought with a little bit of resentment. By now Dean had all but one of the herbs from the list Bobby had given to him and now he was getting frustrated. There was the poppy for eternal rest, the nasturtium for victory in battle, some cyclamen leaves for resignation, some anemone for the forsaken, he managed to find the Holy basil recommended for its spiritual links, and even some belladona which has poisonous properties to cause death. All that was left was the Neem, a very rare plant that supposedly has divine properties.

"Sir?" The elderly lady questioned looking at Dean through her thick glasses.

"Huh?" Dean asked distracted.

"Sorry Sir, but is there anything I can help you with? It is near closing time." She asked walking out from behind the counter, her frail body slowly making its way towards Dean.

"I need to find some Neem, have you heard of it?"

"Ah, yes I know of that plant, very powerful, but also very uncommon. Now why would a young man like you need something like that?" she asked.

"Does it really matter what the reason is?" he asked growing frustrated.

"I suppose not. However we do not sell Neem here, it has to be transported from India, and it is very expensive, sacred to the Hindi you know?"

"Oh…" Dean said disappointed.

"Of course we don't sell it, but I do have some, I personally like the plant and had to have one planted for myself, I am sure I can spare you some leaves if it is important." The kind old lady said smiling up at Dean.

"Really? I mean, yes it is very important, you have no idea, it would mean a lot to me if I could have a bit."

"Of course, it isn't often you have a fine young man come into this kind of store, I would love to keep the passion for plants alive in the next generation." Inwardly Dean rolled his eyes, he really didn't care about the plants, he just needed them to save Sam.

"Thank you so much," Dean said bending over and placing a quick kiss on the old lady's forehead as a token of gratitude once he had his herbs paid for.

"Any time." She smiled locking the doors as he left.

_Finally, I have all the material I need, now let's just hope this works!_

**_Sorry for the late update I will true to update sooner :) thanx for reading and dont forget to review XD_**


	9. Chapter 9 Broken

**Chapter nine: **_**Broken**_

The sound of the door opening had Sam awake and in a fit of panic, he was still dazed with sleep so he didn't notice that it was Dean who had walked in. He felt a hand on his shoulder and the familiar touch calmed him down right away. He looked up at Dean who gave him a soft smile then moved his hand to massage his shoulder.

"Did you get everything?" he asked with a horse voice.

"Yeah I did" Dean said giving his shoulder a squeeze then standing "its nearly sundown so I have to get ready to break into the prison."

Sam gave a laugh for the first time in days and it brought a smile to Dean's face.

"What you laughin at kiddo?"

"Its just most people break out of prison not in."

"Yeah well we're not most people" Dean said as he placed the brown paper bag on the table.

"You mean most people don't get beaten by spirits."

Dean walked to Sam and sat down next to him, he gave him a brief smile "This ends tonight Sammy, I'm ending it" he said firmly "horn bags is going to hell where he belongs and you and me are going to put this town in our rear view mirror."

"But what if it doesn't work Dean" Sam asked with pleading eyes "What if I have to go through this until it kills me?" Dean went to speak but Sam kept going "I'm in a lot of pain Dean, emotionally and physically."

"Sammy I'm gonna stop this thing" Dean stood then walked back to the table and started pulling out the herbs "Hey kiddo are you well enough to help me with this?"

"Yeah sure" Sam said standing on shaky legs and making his way to Dean "What do you want me to do?"

Dean pulled a bowl and a grinder from the bag and put it on the table "grind the herbs."

Sam nodded then started to get to work on grinding the herbs. Dean watched him carefully for a few minutes before going to his duffle and pulling out the things he needed to use to break into the prison.

It was getting late and he would need to go soon, he wanted this thing done tonight. He wanted to make sure Sam wouldn't have to suffer anymore; he was already in enough pain as it was.

Finally it was time for Dean to go and he for the first time he was feeling extremely nervous. He knew that if he were to be caught he would be sent to jail and Sam would be left alone to fend for himself. He couldn't afford to be away from Sam right now, Sam was broken and if Dean was behind bars he wouldn't be able to put him back together.

"Ok I'll see ya soon Sammy" he said pulling his duffle strap over his shoulder "Just take it easy for me."

"I will Dean" Sam said sounding slightly scared.

"You'll be fine" Dean assured then turned and walked off into the night.

Sam shut the door and rested against it, he let out a sigh and collapsed to the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest and buried his head in his arms, then he broke down. He let tears of pent up pain fall freely, sure he had let a few tears slip here and there but now he was breaking down. He let tears of sorrow, shame and pain fall.

He didn't want Dean to see him lose it completely but he couldn't hold it together any longer. Everything that had happened in the last few days was now so real, he always knew it was real but it had just hit him. He had really been beaten and raped by an angry spirit and he didn't know if he would ever really be able to get over it, to move past what had happened to him.

Dean had been great, he had shown so much compassion and been so open to him that it made Sam that little bit better, but he didn't know if he would ever be complete, he had lost a part of himself, a part of his innocence now that this happened. All he could think about was how much he had shamed his brother, if he had to go through it again he didn't think Dean would stay, and he knew that he wouldn't be able to survive if that was to happen. He needed his brother, but he couldn't fight the feeling that Dean was ashamed of him

**--------**

Dean crept towards the back door and pulled his look pick from his bag. He had disabled the alarms and was just about to open the door when I horrible image came into his mind. He had been arrested, thrown into jail and Sam was left to face a month of abuse before getting beaten to death. He felt tears sting his eyes and with a great deal of strength he pushed on.

He crept through the corridors quickly and quietly, his heart was racing and he had sweat beaded on his forehead. Never in his life had he been so worried about a break in. But there was more at steak now, Sam's life was hanging in the balance. If he failed Sam would be killed but that was no option, it was save Sam or fail and lose the only person he had left. And that was not happening as long as Dean was around.

Finally the black hutch came into view and Dean sighed with relief. He made his way over to the black hutch and carefully picked the lock, he slid the glass door open. He shown the touch on the many urns and he started to search for Cole Collin's. He saw the label then looked up to see a black and gold urn with the name Cole Collins engraved in it.

He grabbed the urn then slid the door shut; he gave the urn a long look then took off.

**--------**

Sam let the warm water run over his aching body, he let it wash away the tears and the pain. The warm water was welcome to his aching limps and many bruises. The scolding heat distracted him from the pain he felt inside and felt almost as if it was washing away his skin, helping him to get a fresh start. This is what he needed, a fresh start to all of this madness he called life. However soon the water turned cold and he was forced from his comfort back into the harsh cold world, he quickly exited the shower and grabbed a towel drying himself being careful not to bump his bruises.

The room was blanketed by clouds of steam; he moved towards the mirror and wiped away the steam. He stood there frozen; staring back at him was someone unrecognizable. It was himself, but thinner, smaller, weaker version of him. Bruises marred his beautiful features leaving him looking like something that wasn't human, how could Dean handle seeing him like this.

His face, chest, his whole body was littered with varying discoloration, his body looked more angular with the weight loss, but it was his eyes that scared him the most. They were empty green pits that held nothing of his former self.

He continues staring at himself, what little he could remember replayed over and over in his mind in an endless loop. His mind is clouded with the thought of it happening again. He can't stand to look at himself and wonders how anyone else could. Without consciously realising what he was doing he balled his hand into a fist and rammed into the picture of himself.

Shards of glass imbedded itself into his fist as others fell from the mirror. He looked at the mirror, his face now looking worse with all the cracks in the glass. _Is this what I have become?_ He asked himself. Slowly he dropped down to the floor cradling his injured hand, another injury to add to the endless list, and started shaking because of the repressed sobs.

**--------**

Dean opened the door and walked into the room, he placed the urn on the table and looked around for Sam. The room was empty but he saw that the bathroom door was closed. _He's just takin a shower _Dean said to himself. Then he heard the sound of glass smashing and ran to the bathroom in a fit of panic.

He ran so fast that he ran into right into the door, it was locked and he hadn't excepted it to be. He ignored the pain and started to pound on the door repetitively and shouted out to Sam. There was no response.

"Sammy open the damn door!" he shouted "Sammy kiddo come on! Open the door."

Still the door stayed shut and Dean began to panic more "Sam!"

He stood back and with great force he kicked the door open and what he saw mad his blood run cold. Sam was huddled up on the ground shaking himself back and forth. Dean rushed to him and skidded to a halt right beside his scared baby brother.

Sam heard nothing of Dean's shouting or banging, his mind was in turmoil as his head went over all the things that had made him weak, at least in his eyes. Then the door crashed open, splintering on its hinges. Startled out of his musings he still did not recognize that the person was Dean, instead he was scared it was the ghost, or worse someone to take him away. He started shaking more, rocking back and forth now allowing the tears to fall, shaking his head side to side and whispering "no, please, don't" over and over again.

"Hey, hey kiddo shhh its me" Dean said placing an arm around Sam's back and rubbing circles on it.

Sam didn't reply he just kept shaking and sobbing.

"Dude talk to-" Dean was cut off when he saw the blood on Sam's hand "Sammy what happened?"

"Please don't" Sam whimpered, "Don't."

"Hey Sammy its me" Dean said moving so he was face to face with Sam "Sammy I'm here, you're safe."

Dean watched as Sam's eyes moved from looking down at the ground to looking into his tear filled eyes. The fear and panic never left his eyes, not even with the knowledge of Dean being with him. Dean pulled him into a hug and buried his face in Sam's shoulder. Dean didn't scare easily but he was scared as hell right now.

He pulled back and stared into Sam's tear filled eyes, he knew his own must have looked the same. He stood up on shaky legs and Sam followed after him, they both now stood on shaky legs, needing one and other to keep each other up. Dean took Sam's hand and examined the wound carefully before leading his baby brother out of the bathroom.

He sat him down on the bed and kneeled down in front of him, he noticed that Sam was shaking and he quickly pulled off his jacket and wrapped around Sam's shoulders. Sam continue to shake but the best thing Dean could do for him was get his hand bandaged and get him into a warm bed. He made a beeline to the bathroom and came back with the first aid kit.

He sat himself down next to Sam and took his hand and started to clean it. Sam didn't say a word through the whole thing, he just stayed quiet and stared down at the floor. Dean finished bandaging Sam's hand and he moved to place a hand on Sam's shoulder. Sam flinched under the touch and it hurt Dean to see Sam afraid of him.

He looked at Sam, who was still staring down at the ground. He had relaxed under Dean's touch but he still showed the signs of fear in his eyes, Dean couldn't bear to see Sam this way. He looked so lost, so hurt and so afraid, the person before him was nothing like the Sam he knew. But he wouldn't make sure that Sam became that person again, he owed it to him.

Dean now knew that putting Sam back together was going to be a much harder job then he first thought. Sam was slowly sinking into his mind and if he went to far Dean might not be able to reach him. However Sam lifted his head and stared into his brother's eyes, the fear and panic was slowly dying away but it was still visible. But Dean thought Sam had sunken deep into his mind and was unreachably, but once again Dean was proven wrong by the strength of his little brother.

"I'm sorry" Sam whispered just loud enough for Dean to hear.

"Hey you've done nothing wrong" Dean said wrapping his arm around his shoulder and pulling him in for a hug "There's no reason to be sorry, I'm the one who should be saying sorry."

"You did nothing wrong either Dean" Sam said sounding exhausted.

"C'mon lets get you to changed then into bed."

"I think Casper would prefer if I stayed undressed."

Dean looked down at Sam who was slowly falling asleep; he didn't know what to say to the last statement. It was cry or laugh which usually only left one option but for once in his life Dean would rather cry then laugh or crack a stupid joke. But he had to hold it together, if not for him then for Sam. He owed it to him.

He felt Sam moving in his arms and he shook him gently to wake him up. Sam's eyes fluttered open and he looked around the room until they came to a rest on Dean's face. He gave him a small smile then shut his eyes again.

"Sammy you need to get dressed" Dean said shifting him so he could stand.

Sam only shook his head.

"C'mon on kiddo" Dean now stood still holding Sam up.

"To tired" he murmured.

Dean heaved a sigh then moved Sam so that he was lying down on the bed. He removed the wet towel then he pulled the blankets up over his bruised body. He brushed Sam's hair out of his eyes and he pressed a quick kiss to his forehead. He stood and walked over to the gun that was built for shooting rock salt. He picked the gun up and looked at the urn, a smirk graced his face.

_"This ends tonight."_

**TBC**

**Please review**


	10. Chapter 10 Show Down

**Chapter ten: **_**Show Down**_

Dean sat on the hard plastic chair with the gun resting on his lap. It was now midnight and the spirit still hadn't shown up, he was growing frustrated. He wanted it gone and he wanted it done tonight. He would not allow Sam to suffer anymore then he already had. Sam had gone through something that Dean had never even thought could happen to someone in his family.

He never even wondered what it would be like to be assaulted in anyway. Sure he had been attacked by demons numerous amounts of times but never had he been hurt by a human. And even though it was a spirit hurting his family, he still knew that it was a living human at one stage and Sam had always seen people as good, now one had scarred him for life.

Dean felt his eyelids grew heavy and he soon found himself nodding off. He would fall asleep for a minute then he'd wake up and remember what he was meant to be doing. But it wasn't long before sleep came and claimed him, it pulled him away from his living nightmare and placed him in a world were he and Sam were forever safe.

Hours later the darkness lifted when a cold breeze danced across his face, his eyes opened halfway but slid shut again. The sound of rustling sheets and a pain filled cry had Dean fully wake and alert. He looked to his baby brother who had sweat beads on his forehead and was crying in his sleep. Dean took the gun from his lap and stared at Sam carefully.

He couldn't see the spirit but he knew it was there and it was hurting Sam. He had to kill it but he couldn't see it and there was no way he could do it without being able to see the damn thing. He cursed then looked around the searching for something that would help him see the ghost. He didn't know what he was looking for but when his fell on his phone a memory flashed back.

He remembered when he was a PA and Sam used his phone's camera to see the ghost that were haunting the set. He grabbed his phone and with shaky fingers he turned the camera on. He raised it up and looked at the tiny screen, his breath caught in his throat and tears welled up in his eyes. The spirit of Cole Collins was hovering over him.

His face was an inch from Sam's and his body was covering the bruised and batted body of his baby brother. As Dean stared at the screen he could hear the sound of moans float in the air. He could hear his brother groan in pain and he could see what the spirit was doing to him. Dean's eyes went from Sam's face to his lower half. He could _see_ the spirit's hips resting against Sam's; he swallowed the dry lump in his throat and focused his mind at the hunt he had to finish.

He raised the gun and pointed it at the ghost that was raping his brother; he blinked away the tears and aimed. He went to fire when a cry filled the room; he looked down at the phone and saw that the spirit of Cole Collins had its head thrown back in pleasure. He could hear the cry of pleasure and he wondered why he had never heard it before.

It pulled free of Sam and stared to float up towards the ceiling. Dean took aim and with a loud bang a bullet flew out and hit the spirit dead center in the chest. It cried in pain and a strange blue light jolted through its transparent body, the spirit cried out then exploded in a flash of blue light. Dean dropped the gun and ran to Sam, who was starting to stir.

Sam was groaning loudly and tossing and turning in the double bed and without warning his snapped open and he bolted to the bathroom. He went so fast that Dean barely noticed in his state of shock. Dean went to run to bathroom but he remembered that he had put Sam to bed undressed; he pulled the cover of the bed and raced to the bathroom.

Sam was emptying his food into the toilet, not that he had eaten much all day. Sam sat up slowly and wiped his mouth on the nearby towel, his stomach still churned and his body shook. Slowly he realised the cold was seeping into his body from the cold tile floor, however he still didn't move, his body was working against him, he felt sick, felt bruised, he felt broken, and he knew why. Dean slowly walked into the bathroom; he wanted to rush to his brother's aid but knew startling Sam could make things worse.

Slowly he knelt down beside his baby brother and wrapped the blanket over his shoulders trying to warm his brother up and give him some minimal comfort, all the while letting his brother know that he was there for him when he was ready. Sam leaned into the warmth offered by his brother, he had yet to open his eyes but he knew that Dean would be there, he always caught him when he fell. Slowly Dean's arms made their way around the prone body, and together they stayed on the dodgy bathroom floor of some no name motel in some no name town, giving comfort and support, and secretly even love to one another.

Dean slowly eased Sam into a standing position he noticed he winced quite a bit as he led him back to the warmth of his bed. He gently laid Sam down on the bed. Dean looked around the room then made a beeline to Sam's duffle; he pulled out a pair of boxers and walked back to Sam. Carefully he slid the boxers over his baby brother's legs, as he had done many times in their youth, but never before had it been such a meaningful event. Sam grunted and winced in pain as the boxes settled on his hips. The whole time Dean whispered comforting words of nothingness, apologising continuously.

Dean placed the covers back over Sam's shaky form and he seat himself down beside him. He watches carefully as Sam sunk low under the covers, his body shaking and his breathing rapid. Dean knew that he would have to settle Sam down or else he could have another panic attack. No matter what Dean tried to do nothing could calm Sam down. So he offered words of comfort.

"Shh Sammy, it's over now, it's all over now" Dean sighed in relief, "Sam open your eyes for me kiddo, let me know you are ok," he practically begged, his own tears falling from his eyes.

"De… Dean?" Sam's voice shook.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Dean, it hurts."

"It's ok Sammy, you're ok," Dean said running his hand through his brother's hair, "I'll make it better baby brother," Dean said pulling his brother towards him. Sam's body slowly calmed down as he recognized that he was surrounded by his big brother, the entire world was blocked out except for the two of them, the entire world was on a stand still for them.

Dean gently rocked Sam back and forth in his arms as he rubbed circles on his brother's back. He offered words of comfort and support until he knew his brother was sound asleep. He laid him back down on the bed and covered him once again with the donna.

Dean didn't want to sleep; he had to look after his brother, just as he had done for most of his life. He cradled Sam as he slept, still whispering nonsense into his brother's ears and rubbing his hands up and down his arms, constantly reassuring his brother even while he was asleep. He kept fighting off the darkness, needing to be there for _his_ Sammy until he couldn't fight it off any longer and the night and darkness took over his worn body too.

--------

The next morning Dean was woken up to the sounds of retching. He bolted up and cursed himself for falling asleep for so long. He rushed to his brother's side and started comforting him again just as he had done last night and many nights before. Slowly Sam's retching turned into dry heaves, his stomach still clenching in pain.

"Hey Sammy, I'm here, relax, just breathe, it's nearly over," Dean said holding his brothers forehead.

Sam's breath slowly returned to normal and he slumped back down against his brother's chest. His brother's hand on his head and his body giving warmth next to him was more comfort than he thought he would ever normally get. Together they walked back to the bed where Dean managed to get Sam more comfortable again.

"Thanks Dean," Sam said feeling slightly embarrassed that his brother had to see him in that position twice already in just one night.

"Don't worry about it kiddo," Dean said seeing his brother trying to shy away from him. _Please don't close yourself off to me_, he mentally sighed.

Sam slowly closed his eyes exhausted from the bout of sickness from last night and just then. He felt the bed shift as Dean's weight left his side. "Dean?" He asked his panic rising but his voice not able to.

"Relax Sammy, I'm here, just going to make you feel better," Dean said walking around the motel room. He retrieved a glass of water, some pain tablets and Sam's toothbrush and toothpaste. Then walked back to his brother. "Do you think you can sit up for me Sammy?" Dean asked setting all the things on the bedside table as he sat down by his brother.

Slowly Sam pulled himself up so that he was resting against the headboard and he looked at his brother questioningly.

"Here Sammy, take these pills, then brush your teeth, it will make you feel better," Dean said softly handing his brother the pills and water.

Sam took the medicine, drank some water then brushed his teeth, scrubbing them clean. Now that he couldn't taste the bile in his mouth or throat and the ache in his head was slowly receding he managed to relax a little bit more.

"Do you want to tell me what that was all about just then kiddo?" Dean asked carefully, not sure how far he could push his brother.

"I.. I don't really know, I mean.. I… I just don't know." Sam sighed unsure of how to explain what happened. He turned his body so that he was facing away from his brother not wanting Dean to see the tears that were threatening to spill from his eyes.

"Ok Sammy, we can talk about it later, just remember that it is all over now," _Thank God_ Dean added silently to himself.

"Yeah…"

"Ok Kiddo, I think I'll go and get us something to eat, something plain for you though, will you be ok if I just head out for a few minutes?" Dean asked knowing he was starving but not wanting to leave Sam.

"Just… Can you wait until I fall asleep?" Sam asked carefully, hating how weak he sounded.

"Of course I can Sam," Dean said lying back against the headboard next to his brother, allowing parts of their bodies to touch. Dean listened to his brother's breathing not moving much at all until he heard Sam's breath even out. "Rest easy Sammy. I wont be gone long," Dean whispered more to himself as he got up off the bed and made his way towards the door.

--------

"Thanks" Dean said taking his order from a small girl who was working at the local diner, he was impatient and needed to get back to his brother soon, and God it was taking ages just to get a meal. He retreated back to the car and as he was crossing the car back he spotted doctor Markovic. He prayed to God that he hadn't been seen but his prayer went unanswered. Dr Markovic rushed over to him while Dean tried to pretend he hadn't seen him.

"Dean" he yelled after "Dean we need to talk."

Dean gave up and turned to face the friendly Dr "I didn't rape my brother."

"I know," he said sounding frazzled "I believe you… I… I don't know why, but I… I do."

"Geez Doc, I didn't ask you to marry me" Dean said in a humorous voice, trying to distract the doctor from him trying to walk away "Thanks though, that means a lot to me."

"Dean do you know where Sam is?"

"Yeah" he said dryly.

"He's with you isn't he?"

Dean gave a curt nod.

"Dean your brother needs to be in a hospital."

"I can't take him back, not now!" Dean snapped, "They think I hurt him."

"But I don't" he said "I have a brother too and I know that you'd never hurt Sam, I see the way you look at him, I know you'd give your life for him."

Wow you're good doc Dean thought "Hey doc can I ask you something?" 

"You can call me Evan and yeah ask away."

"Do you believe in ghosts?"

"Ah… I believe that there are many unexplained events" he said raising an eyebrow "why?"

"You want the truth?"

"Yeah" he said hesitantly.

"See my brother Sam didn't get attacked in an alleyway he got assaulted by a sexed up spirit" Dean said quickly "But don't worry I killed it! To bad it did a number on Sam before I got a chance though."

Evan stared at Dean with a confused expression "You're telling the truth… aren't you?"

"Trust me doc I wish I wasn't." Dean said looking down.

"Ok, so it's gone now, so that mean Sam will be ok right? Well physically anyway." The doctor said.

"Well, yeah, I'd say it is all over, but um, I think I might need some more help," Dean started sounding nervous.

"What is the matter Dean?"

"Well, it happened again last night, and well with what you said last time, he could be injured or something right?"

"Ah yes, he could have internal damage, but you would have to take him to the hospital to get it checked, and even if you didn't bring him back to us, all hospitals need to report rape incidences."

"Well, could you do it? I mean like not at the hospital? We can't go back there, and we can't take him somewhere else, you're the only doctor he would trust," Dean said becoming desperate.

"I… well I could lose my doctor's license if I do that…"

"But you have to help us, please!" Now he was definitely begging.

"Ok Dean, I will help you, God help me but yes I'll check Sam," the doctor said smiling.

"Oh thank you! Thank you so much!" Dean said excitedly.

"Ok, you should get back to Sam; I will get a kit and get back to you, where are you staying?" He asked.

"Well, I mean I do need to get back to Sam but…"

"You don't know if you can still trust me, Ok, here is my number, call me in about half an hour and I will have my home ready for you boys, and I assume you two aren't staying somewhere elegant, so you can both stay with us, me and my wife that is." He offered giving his phone number.

"Um, well I don't know, I mean Sam might not be comfortable, and we both don't want to be a burden, especially since you have been so good to us," Dean said really wanting to get back to Sam.

"Look, don't worry about any of that now, at least let me do the test at home, call me in a bit and we will go to my place together." He explained leaving Dean by himself with his thoughts.

_Do I trust him? Should we stay with him? Does he really believe us?_ All these thoughts were swirling through his mind, that was until one thought stopped all the rest, _get back to Sammy!_

He ran back to the motel room faster than ever before worried that he had left his brother alone for too long. He opened the motel door and looked around, everything seemed in order, and thank God Sam was still sleeping. He sat down next to his brother with the bag of food that had been left forgotten. He ran his hand through his brother's soft hair, of course he always teased his brother about its length, but he never wanted it to be cut.

"Hey Sammy, wake up little brother," Dean said rubbing Sam's forehead.

Slowly Sam was brought back to the world, his eyes weren't focused and he didn't remember much of what was happening around him. "Dean? What's wrong?" Sam asked trying to sit up.

"I got you some food kiddo, but we have to get going soon," Dean said passing his brother a plain sandwich.

Sam winced as he sat up, then everything came flooding back to him, he was raped again, he threw up _twice_ in front of Dean and he had been raped again.

"Shh Sammy, relax, everything is over, remember, we got the ghost, you are ok," Dean said noticing the exact moment when Sam tensed up.

"Thanks Dean," Sam said accepting the sandwich, but not moving to eat it.

"Eat Sammy, we have to go soon," He said taking a bit out of his burger.

Sam took a small bite out of the plain bread and swallowed. "Where are we going?" He asked nervous again.

"Sammy, Dr Markovic saw me when I got the food, he believes me when I say I didn't hurt you, so he is going to help us," Dean started.

"I don't want to go back to that hospital Dean, I don't need a hospital!" He argued.

"Sammy, relax, you won't be going to the hospital, but you do need to get check out, he said he will do another test for you, ok and he even said we can stay at his house while you recover." Dean explained.

"I don't want to Dean, please don't put me through that again."

"I don't want to either Sammy, but please, you need to at least get checked out, and we can trust him," Dean said.

"Oh… Ok then Dean, I'll trust you, I mean if you trust him then I can too," Sam said putting the food down.

"Not hungry? Ok, look we should go to his place, he will make sure you are ok, and then we can put this town in the rear view mirror," Dean said finishing his food and then pacing around the room packing up their stuff.

"Thanks for everything Dean, really. I mean you don't have to do any of this."

"What's that supposed to mean? Of course I would do this for you, you're my brother! Sammy, don't start thinking like that, I might not have to do something like this but I would no matter what!" Dean said staring his brother in the eyes making sure he understood.

"Yeah."

-----

"Hi there Sam," Dr Markovic said when they entered his house. Sam staying right behind his brother every step as if he could be shielded by his brother.

"Hi."

"Ok, well, I think it would be best just to get this over and done with, we wont do any lab testing, but I need to check for any tears, ok Sam?" he waited until Sam nodded, "Now I assume you would want your brother with you again, but you know he doesn't need to be there, and also you can always refuse this treatment, but I wouldn't recommend it, and I think it would be best that once I start I don't stop, so you have to be sure now."

"Yes, I'm sure; it needs to be done, right Dean?" Sam said still not looking up.

"Do not do it for Dean, Sam, do it for yourself," the doctor said interrupting whatever Dean was about to say.

Sam looked up towards his brother; he couldn't possibly make this decision himself could he? Dean simply nodded and waited for Sam's answer.

"Ok, I want it done, that way I can put all of this behind me," Sam said looking up and meeting the doctor's eyes.

"Ok then, follow me, we will have privacy here, and that way no one will ever have to know that this test was done or that you were even here," he said leading them through a corridor.

"Thanks," both Sam and Dean mumbled.

The doctor got himself prepared for the procedure and allowed Sam to get ready as well. Finally they were ready for this to be done, with Sam lying on his side with Dean at his head holding his hand once again.

"Ok, I'm starting now Sam," Evan said beginning the test.

Sam's grip on Dean's hand tightened and Dean just sat there caressing his baby brother's head offering comforting words to his brother the entire time. This felt too familiar; he only wished that his brother didn't have any serious tearing. Time seemed to drag on as the three men worked their individual jobs in relative silence, with the two youngest men having silent tears running down their cheeks, even the older experienced doctor was moved by the bothers' love for each other, this was something rare, and anyone that questioned that didn't understand how siblings could be with one another.

"Ok Sam, I've finished up here, I'll let you get dressed again and then the three of us can talk, ok?" he said removing his gloves and walking towards the door.

"Thanks," Sam said weakly and Dean helped him sit up. Together the brothers got ready, not only getting Sam dressed, but also getting ready to hear what the doctor had found and where things would go from here.

**TBC**


	11. Chapter 11 The Aftermath

**Chapter Eleven: **_**The Aftermath **_

_Together the brothers got ready, not only getting Sam dressed, but also getting ready to hear what the doctor had found and where things would go from here. _

-----

The Winchester brother's were taken to the adjoining room, it was a simple office type room, one large desk in front of an even larger window, with the doctor sitting behind it in his overly stuffed black leather chair, and three other seats directly opposite him. It seemed too cliché, the whole office scenario, the sense of impending doom with what the doctor had to say to them, _or was that Dean's mind thinking overdramatically as he surveyed the room?_

Both brother's made themselves as comfortable as possible on the chairs available, the whole time Sam not looking up to meet the doctor's eyes, sure he was most comfortable with this doctor, but he still didn't like anyone seeing him at his weakest.

"Ok boys, I want you both to listen carefully to what I have to say now," Dr Markovic started. Dean stared intently at the doctor wanting it all to be over, while Sam still wouldn't meet anyone's eyes. "Sam, I need you to look at me, I need to know that you understand what is going to happen here." He said waiting for Sam to look up and nod.

Dean was glad that Dr Markovic was there getting Sam to pay attention, because although he wanted what was best for his brother he wasn't sure Sam would be able to handle what the doctor had to say.

"Ok, well Sam, after doing the exam, it is quiet obvious that there are many tears, some unfortunately very deep-" he started only to be interrupted by Dean.

"What do you mean unfortunately? I mean I'm sure all tears are bad, and many? What… I mean… what-?" Dean stumbled worried about what the doctor would say.

"Dean calm down a bit and let me continue," he waited for Dean to nod, "As I was saying Sam, yes, there seem to be many tears, most likely because it occurred more than once, now with all injuries there is a chance for infection, and your case is no different, the only problem is it is internal damage. Are you with me so far?" both brothers nodded.

"As I was saying there are a few deeper ones that will need stitching, which I will get to in a bit, but the outermost ones will need to be treated differently, they will have to be cared for." He said leaving his sentence open.

"So what does Sam have to do? I mean to look after the tears?" Dean asked being Sam's voice.

"It is more of an issue of how _both_ of you are going to look after the injuries."

"What! What do you mean both?" Sam asked finally speaking, although his tone saying more than his words ever could.

He was scared.

"Sam, these injuries are something you will not be able to care for on your own, I would suggest having someone you trust and who cares about you to help you in this area, but there are many things you will have to do to keep from getting an infection." He saw the younger man's body shaking, it was always hard for people in his situation to accept help from others, and it seemed Sam would be no different.

"Don't worry Sammy, you have me right kiddo? We will be fine," Dean said trying to help his brother calm down. "So what about the stitching?" Dean said trying to change the subject, even slightly.

"Well it is best done right away, but it will be very uncomfortable for you, and it will be hard since I'm not in a hospital or with a nurse's help. Sam, you will be under a local anesthesia, so you will be awake but shouldn't feel anything, when it takes affect I will use dissolvable sinew to suture the wounds, ok?" he asked ensuring both brothers understood the process.

"Yeah, we get it, so it won't hurt Sam at all?" Dean asked looking over to his brother to see how he was dealing.

"Well. Not exactly, there is still a chance that he can feel some bits of the procedure, but it definitely wont be as bad as if he went without it." He verified.

"Oh," Sam sighed getting more worried.

"Don't worry Sammy, I'll be there with you, and it will be over fast." Dean said placing a hand on his brother's shoulder trying to give some comfort to his brother.

Sam didn't seem to be in the room at all, he felt lost and alone. It would hurt, again more pain, would it ever end? Would the pain, the humiliation the shame ever end? And having Dean there with him? He was so happy Dean offered to be there, but he didn't know if he would be able to stand having his brother there with him while he went through something so degrading again.

"Sam? I need to know that you understand what we are saying here," Dr Markovic said trying to get the young man's attention.

"I… I understand, when do we have to do it?" he asked, his voice quivering.

"The sooner the better, I would like to do it now, but I can give you boys a few minutes," he said starting to stand to give the brothers some privacy.

"Thanks Doc," Dean said turning to look at his brother as the doctor left.

The door shut and Sam visibly sagged, he was wiped out completely, both emotionally and physically. Even with all of his big brother's support, and practically walking him through it all, he still didn't know if he would be able to keep going, he just wanted it all to be over, and now.

"Sam? Hey buddy, are you ok man?" Dean asked using his thumb to rub soothing circles over his brother's shoulder.

"I… I can't Dean." He said trying to hold back the tears.

"Can't what Sammy?" Dean asked getting more anxious.

"I'm not strong enough, I can't do it anymore," Sam let slip as a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"No kiddo, you listen to me," he said pulling Sam's face up so that their eyes could meet, "You are the strongest person I have ever met, I don't know how you do it, but I don't think I would have been able to have kept fighting this long, and now it is over, the spirit is gone, now just this and we can put it all behind us, Sammy, I am so proud of you my baby brother," Dean admitted, his own eyes shining with unshed tears.

"Do you mean it Dean?" He questioned still unsure, his own tears now running freely.

"Of course I do. Now Sammy, do you understand what Dr Markovic said? We should do it straight away, get the stitches done so we can leave," Dean said trying to pull himself back together.

"Not now Dean, I don't think I could do it tonight," He admitted softly, he hated sounding weak, especially in front of his brother, no matter what he said.

"Ok Sammy, it's ok, we can see if he can do it tomorrow, it might even be better for him so he can get some more stuff from the hospital or something, don't worry Kiddo," Dean said. He desperately wanted to reach over and hold his brother close to him, Sam just seemed so broken now, heck they both were, and it just seemed like he would have to hold the pieces together. Literally.

Just as Dean was ready to reach over and pull his brother into a hug, Dr Markovic re-entered the room disturbing the privacy that would let them get away with 'chick-flick' moments like that.

"Have you two talked this through? What are we doing?" The doctor asked sitting back down in front of the brothers.

"I think it would be best for both of us if we did the procedure tomorrow, I know you said it should be done straight away, and probably should already have been taken care of instead of all this talk, but I think we are both exhausted, and just want to be ready for this." Dean said trying to explain where Sam might be coming from.

"I can see where you boys are coming from, but I must stress how important it is to have this done and soon," He tried to explain.

"Trust me doc, we understand, we know a lot about infections and what not-" _damn supernatural beings having to always get rough, nothing is ever easy_ "so we know how important this is, but I don't think either one of us is ready to go back _there_ just yet." Dean said emphasising his point.

"Fair enough, my wife is out of town for tonight, so your privacy will be respected, I have a room down the hall that has two beds in it, I suggest you get as much sleep as you can, and Sam?" he offered turning to look directly at the younger man. "I hope you can come to me if you have any worries or concerns," he said again getting up to leave, "I'll show you to your room," he said leading them down the hall.

Once they were getting settled Evan pulled Dean aside to talk to him in private. "Dean, how are you going?" He asked concern lacing his words.

"I'm fine, I'm not the one that was attacked," He argued looking away.

"Yes, but you are the one that has to deal with this just as much as Sam is, you are looking after him, and doing a great job, but sometimes it can get to be too much for just one person, are you sure you are ok?"

"Yeah, I am, he's my brother, and there is nothing that could stop me from looking after him."

"Good to hear, just to let you know, Sam really shouldn't soak in a tub, running water like a shower would be better, also if you see bleeding during the night, and especially if it lasts more than fifteen minutes come and get me right away, I don't like having to wait to get Sam sutured up, but I know he isn't ready yet."

"Ok Doc, thanks again for everything." Dean said returning to his brother.

-------

Night fell quickly over the brothers, but time wasn't noticed by either one. They shuffled through their nightly routine, and got ready for bed. Neither brother spoke to one another, their minds consumed with the thoughts of what would happen tomorrow and days beyond that, they would have to learn to lean on one another, and talk more openly to each other, and most of all, Sam would have to learn how to trust Dean completely again.

Both Sam and Dean lay in their beds, neither was sleeping but trying to seem so as not to disturb the other. The hours crawled by so slowly, but both were lost in their own thoughts, it was getting late, or early, and neither had yet been able to fall asleep.

"Sammy? Are you awake?" Dean whispered into the night disturbing the silence.

"Yeah," he replied in a hoarse whisper, it sounded to Dean like Sam had been crying.

"Kid? What's wrong?" he said getting worried.

"Nothing Dean, I'm ok." He said, but Dean saw how his body shook and then tried to hide further beneath the covers.

"Sammy?" Dean questioned cautiously as he made his way over to his brother. He sat down on the edge of the bed and stroked his brother's arm with his hand. "Hey Sam, what's up?"

"I'm scared," Sam mumbled, most of what he said getting lost under the covers with him.

"Hey Kiddo, you have nothing to worry about anymore, the doc knows what he is doing," Dean said trying to calm his brother, not realising he was talking about the wrong thing entirely.

"N…no. I think I'm ok for tomorrow Dean," Sam whispered, afraid to break the still night any more than necessary.

"Then what is it kiddo? What are you scared of?"

"_Him_."

_Oh God, how could I be so stupid, he is scared to go to sleep, to be vulnerable. I know I killed it, I'm sure he is gone._

"Hey kid, move over a bit, I'ma coming in," Dean said trying to make it seem casual. Sam reluctantly moved over to give Dean some room on his bed, thankful that his brother was trying to do everything to make him more comfortable.

"Sammy, he's gone now, you're safe," Dean said pulling Sam's larger frame up close to his. They both needed this comfort; they needed to be near one another to anchor each other.

"Thanks Dean," Sam whispered against his brother's chest, slowly calming down.

Dean ran his hands along Sam's arms, reassuring himself that Sam was still there with him and had not been taken by some _ghost_, and slowly Sam's breath evened out, allowing one brother to rest for at least some part of the night. When he heard his brother's breath even out into sleep, Dean tried to match his breathing to do the same, trying to get himself lulled to sleep to. Dean placed his hand on the base of his brother's skull and carefully ran his fingers through the long soft hair their, something he always loved doing.

Planting a chaste kiss on his baby brother's temple Dean soon succumbed to sleep as well.

--------

The morning light filtered through the tacky curtains, creating a scattered pattern of light across Dean's eyes. Mumbling in his sleep he turned his head over and snuggled deeper into the warmth that greeted him. He was _so_ not ready to have this day start. Slowly, however, his senses started coming back to him. He heard his brother's breath, smelt the coffee being brewed, saw the light coming through the window, and tasted the sleep in his mouth. But the most worrying thing was what he felt.

The bed was damp.

He snapped awake, cursing himself for not being careful as not to wake Sam, and threw the covers off the two of them. He sat frozen at what he saw. Dean's eyes were blown wide, his whole body in shock.

Blood.

Dean realised that he had to get Evan Markovic there now, he had no idea when the bleeding had started, if it had stopped and really how much there was, but by the looks of things there was a lot. He still hadn't moved when he heard the sheets ruffling beside him.

"Dean? What's wrong?" Sam said still not fully awake.

Sam's voice snapped Dean out of his own turmoil and into needing to care for his brother. "Sammy? Hey, you feeling ok?" Dean asked trying to distract his brother from his own blood.

"I still feel tired, a little light headed maybe?"

_Probably from the blood loss_, Dean thought. "Ok kid, don't worry, I just have to get Dr Markovic for a second, will you be ok here?" Dean asked slipping out of the covers, while keeping the blood hidden. "Try not to move around too much if you are feeling dizzy," Dean said hoping his brother wouldn't feel the damp sheets.

"Ok," He mumbled, his eyes drifting shut once more.

Dean ran through the house trying to find the doctor. "Evan! Christ man, I need you, quick!" Dean said in a rush.

"What is it Dean? Is Sam ok?" He asked setting his cup of coffee down.

"DEAN!" Sam's yell could be heard through the entire house.

"Crap."

---------

Sam lay still until Dean had closed the door behind him. He felt uncomfortable in the way that he was lying down, his pants felt almost wet. He shuffled around until he was closer to Dean's side of the small bed, and that was when he noticed it.

"Bl… blood?" Sam stuttered.

"DEAN!" Sam shouted now terrified, had Dean noticed the blood? Had he just run instead of being there for him? Thousands of thoughts raced through his mind.

Dean ran as fast as his legs could take him with the older doctor trying to keep up. He threw open the door and bolted to Sam's side trying to enclose his arms around his baby brother. Sam was shaking roughly though, he hadn't even realised that Dean had come back to him, however slowly he was brought back out of his thoughts by a simple rocking motion and soft words.

"I'm here Sammy, I'm here, and you're ok." Dean repeated over and over again into Sam's ear.

Evan walked over to the brothers and started to inspect the sheets. There seemed to have been a fair amount of blood staining the sheets, however it would be too hard to tell how much damage there really was since it could have built up during the night, not all just in one go. However he was certain now that the surgery would have to take place immediately.

"Dean?" he said getting the young man's attention, "We need to do this now, he has already lost a fair amount of blood, he should also be put on an IV just for that, we need to get him back to the exam room," he said helping Dean slowly support his brother's weight.

Slowly the trio made their way to the room they used the previous day as an exam room, here all that would be needed for this procedure was already set up, all that was needed now was to get Sam to sit in the uncomfortable looking bed, with foot rests raised up to hold his legs up, and get him calm enough to stop moving.

Together Dean and Evan managed to sit Sam down on the bed; however that was the easy part. Now Dean had to hold onto his brother's legs as the doctor strapped his feet into the rests. "Ok Dean, I think you can let go now, I think he is secure," Dr Markovic said after some struggle. Dean nodded and moved back towards where his brother's head was.

Sam's eyes were shut tight and his whole body was stiff and tense, he was terrified and Dean couldn't blame him. "Hey Sammy, I'm here kiddo, you need to relax now, ok, you will be fine, everything is ok." Dean said taking hold of Sam's hand. While the doctor was preparing the equipment needed Dean had a chance to look around the room they were in. It seemed to resemble that of a doctor's office, which seemed weird since they were in a house.

"Um Doc? What's with all the equipment you have? Like this bed? Do this often?" Dean asked looking around the room.

"Oh, well my wife she turned this place into a small clinic really, she keeps most of this stuff for pregnant women, you know some wish to have a home birth but that can be a bit dangerous so she dedicated this room to give the women a more _homey_ feeling while still having emergency equipment, just in case." He explained looking at Dean and Sam. "Ready?"

Dean nodded reluctantly and sat down besides Sam's head. It felt all to similar to the other times, but at least he knew that this would be the last time they would have to go through something like this. Ever if he had anything to say about it.

Dean held onto Sam's hand returning the strong grip created by his brother. It was obvious Sam was scared, not just because of what was about to happen but also because of seeing the fairly large amount of blood on the bed. Sam had his eyes clenched shut and was trying to block out his surroundings, thinking he was somewhere else where none of this had happened. He was aware of his brother's presence and was grateful that he was still there, but he still didn't want to be here at all.

"Dean, Sam has to relax a bit, I know it is asking a lot, but I don't want to have to use any sedatives or anything." Dr Markovic said not even looking up, which kind of scared Dean more.

"Hey Sammy, look at me Sam," Dean said placing his hand under Sam's chin to turn his head. Reluctantly Sam's eyes opened up a crack and focused on Dean. "Hey kiddo, I know this isn't where you want to be, but you need to calm down for me baby brother." Dean said caressing his brother's face. Any other situation and he would never be this open with his affection, but Sam needed him and he would give him what he knew Sam needed.

"It hurts Dean." Sam said releasing a sob.

"Shh, I'm so sorry it hurts, but you know how proud of you I am remember?" He said eyeing the doctor from the corner of his eye to see if he had started. He had.

"Hey kid, remember all those years ago, right after you had a nightmare or something, you would come to me, and then you would stay with me?" Dean asked trying a different approach. Sam nodded slightly. "Do you remember what I did to get you to calm down?"

"You… You sang?" he said attentively.

"Yeah. _Say your prayers little one don't forget, my son to include everyone_," He started.

"T_uck you in, warm within keep you free from sin  
till the sandman he comes…_" Dean continued noticing how Sam was slowly relaxing, his voice carrying both of them back to times when they were both safer.

"S_leep with one eye open gripping your pillow tight,"_ Sam's eyes drifted shut, but they no longer were bolted together, now he was just relaxed.

"Good work Dean," Dr Markovic said seeing the affect Dean was having on Sam. But Dean didn't pay attention, he just continued.

_"Exit light, enter night, take my hand, off to never never land  
Something's wrong, shut the light heavy thoughts tonight and they aren't of snow white  
Dreams of war, dreams of liars, dreams of dragon's fire and of things that will bite  
Sleep with one eye open gripping your pillow tight_

_Exit light, enter night, take my hand, off to never never land  
Now I lay me down to sleep pray the lord my soul to keep if I die before I wake pray the lord my soul to take  
Hush little baby, don't say a word and never mind that noise you heard  
it's just the beast under your bed, in your closet, in your head."_

Sam could hear Dean's voice as it lulled him into calm. Sure he could still feel the doctor doing something to him, but he tried not to focus on that, instead he kept listening to the words his big brother was singing to him, just like he had done all those years ago.

-------

It didn't seem too long until the doctor announced that he had in fact finished stitching up the wounds. He cautioned Dean to the fact that there would be a fair bit of pain, and that Sam would be very uncomfortable, so he shouldn't put too much weight on his backside, in other words, Sam would have to lie down more so than sitting.

"Thanks for everything Doc, I think I'll get him to bed now," Dean said allowing Sam's legs to rest normally not held by the chair.

"Ok, but there is something you should do before he goes to sleep," He said looking Dean in the eyes.

"What?"

"The ointment Dean, you need to apply it since he bled."

"Wait… what?"

"There is an ointment that helps fight off infections better than the pills, but it has to be applied directly, and Sam can't do it himself." He explained carefully.

"But Sam wont let me do that to him, he wont let anyone…"

"Dean, relax son. He _will_ let you do it because he trusts you, just make sure that Sam is comfortable first, and keep talking to him so that he knows it is you, and do it fast." He said. Dean just nodded still weary of the job he would have to do.

The two men helped Sam get into the room they were sharing and settled Sam on the bed that had been unused last night. "I'll leave you alone now Dean, just do it fast." He said walking away.

Dean sat next to his brother and stroked his face, "Sammy, I'm sorry kid, but there is something I have to do, and you ain't gonna like it," Dean started as he got the medicine.

He talked Sam through things again and got the tube opened and spread the medication on one finger. "I'm going to touch you now, okay?"

Sam felt the soft touch of his brother's finger and tensed up.

"Sammy, I'm going to push my finger in and turn it as gently as possible to coat the area, alright? You'll feel some pressure and maybe some pain." Dean tried to talk through his tears, but it was obvious he was tortured by what he had to do.

Sam grunted as he felt the finger invade him. His focus faltered, but not completely. The movement inside of him made him cry out and start begging for it to stop.

Dean didn't stop, though. He knew it would be harder for them both if he tried this again. "Hold on, Sammy. It's okay. Hold on." He felt Sam's muscles clench and knew that had to be causing more pain, but he finished the job. "I'm taking my finger out. It's okay."

He pulled the gloves off and disposed of them in the wastebasket and then curled around Sam. He reached his arm around and found Sam's hand, Dean snatched to Sam's chest as he tried to calm down. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry…"

Dean rocked his brother gently. "You did so good, Sammy. I'm so proud of you kiddo. That was so hard, for both of us, but you did a good job." They stayed that way until both slowly drifted off to sleep. It had been a long day and both were physically and emotionally exhausted.

**_TBC_**


	12. Chapter 12 Untouched

**Chapter twelve: **_**Untouched**_

The morning sun seeped through the curtains and illuminated the small room that Sam and Dean had been staying in for the last two days. The door opened and in walked Dean; he sat himself down on Sam's bed and placed a gentle hand on his leg. He felt him flinch under the touch but when he saw Sam looking at him through glazed eyes, he relaxed.

"Hey kiddo" he said softly "Time to get up and have some breakfast before we hit the road."

"I'm not really that hungry" Sam said rolling onto his side.

"Sammy you have to eat" Dean said moving closer to Sam's head.

"Dean I will" he rasped "Just not now."

"Ok" Dean stood and left the room shutting it softly behind. Once the door was fully closed Dean let a single tear roll down his cheek and he had to repress the sob that was threatening to escape. He felt his heart grow cold and he felt drain wash over him, Sam was shutting off from him and it was breaking Dean's heart.

In the last day or two Sam had become distant and he hadn't been eating and barely drinking. Sam had become so distant that he would lock himself in his own mind and he would sleep for hours. Whenever Dean talked to Sam he would say very little or not talk at all he had also been refusing Dean's touch and comfort and now Dean was at a loss.

"_God help us."_

--------

"Thanks so much for letting us stay" Dean said to Evan as he turned to leave "I owe you big time."

"Dean it's nothing" he said squeezing his shoulder "and you don't owe me anything."

"I feel like I do" he added, "you took us in and you got Sam better, physically at least."

"If you want to repay me, then take good care of Sam."

"I will" Dean turned and walked off towards the car; he opened the door and slid in next to Sam, who was rugged up in blankets. "You ready kiddo?"

Sam gave a curt nod with a solemn expression on his face.

Dean looked away from Sam and blinked a few times to clear the tears that were once again threatening to fall. He turned the key and the engine roared to life, he put his foot down and took off with the thought to never return.

The car trip was mostly silent; the only noise was Metallica playing softly in the background. Dean had stopped twice each time hoping to get Sam to eat but he still refused, for a fact he wouldn't even get out of the car. Dean felt like Sam hated him, he wouldn't look at him he barely spoke to him and he refused his touch and comfort.

Whenever he asked Sam if he was in pain or if he were hungry he would mutter a no or give a shrug of his shoulders. Dean didn't know what happened, one minute his Sammy was fine now he hated just to be near him. Dean felt shattered, he hated not being able to comfort Sam or being able to pull him into his arms and cradle him until he knew Sam felt safe again. He felt Sam had abandoned him and abandoned all hope and Dean was slowly giving up to.

"Are we nearly there?" Sam's voice cut through the silence like a knife and it startled Dean.

"Yeah" he said then cleared his throat "So when we get there are you going to eat for me?"

"I'm not hungry Dean" Sam snapped bitterly while keeping his eyes glued to the window.

"You need to eat kiddo."

"Dean I'm not hungry" Sam yelled this time turning to face him "and stop calling me kiddo I'm not a kid and I can look after myself."

"Dude if it wasn't for me you'd still be getting raped by a spirit every night" Dean shouted before realising what he had said "Sammy I… I didn't mean it" Dean saw Sam look away and the tears in his eyes were visible "Sammy I didn't-" Dean watched as Sam shut his eyes and locked himself away in his mind. "I'm sorry baby."

--------

Bobby Singer sat at his kitchen table awaiting the arrival of Sam and Dean. He took it that they were on a knew hunt and wanted help but Dean didn't mention one for a fact he just said he and Sam were coming to stay and that was it. Bobby couldn't get over the feeling that something was not right, perhaps their hunt ended badly and they need time to get over it. After all he knew that the Winchester boys both took their job seriously and they took it hard if they lost someone.

He heard the rumble of the engine and he stood and made his way to the door, he opened it and saw Dean get out. He waved hello then he moved to the trunk and pulled out his and Sam's duffle. Bobby noticed that Sam was a bit slow in getting out of the car and when he saw him he nearly died, Sam's face was covered in yellow/purple bruises obviously from a few days ago but still visible.

"What the hell happened" Bobby demanded as the Winchester brothers made they were to him.

"Can I fill you in later?" Dean asked "I need to get Sam to bed" he said looking at Sam who still refused to look back and Bobby picked up on it.

"They spare bed is made you can let Sam rest there." Bobby turned and headed back inside.

Sam had been settled in the spare room and was now resting in a light sleep. Dean sat on the old couch and watched his brother sleep, he hated himself for yelling at Sam earlier how could of he said that. Not only had he yelled at Sam he had admitted to himself that Sam had been raped, he knew it was true but he couldn't admit now he had and it hurt.

It hurt because his baby brother had been raped. He had been violated and used for some sick spirits pleasure now Dean wasn't sure if he could put Sam back together because he wasn't sure if he was all together himself. Hearing faint footsteps Dean looked up to see Bobby standing in the doorway, he lent against the wall and folded his arms over his chest.

"Wanna tell me what's going?"

Dean stood and walked past Bobby and disappeared down the hall with the older hunter following him. He collapsed onto the couch and buried his head in his hands. Bobby sat on the coffee table and placed a gentle hand his shoulder.

"Dean what's happened?"

Dean lifted his head and Bobby saw the tears shinning in his eyes "Something really bad happened to Sam."

Bobby could hear the tremor in Dean's voice and he could see the pain in his eyes "W… w…" he went to speak but he found it hard to get the words out, he knew something really bad must have happened to make Dean like this "What happened?"

"We were hunting a spirit as you know" Dean started in a tear choked voice "a… and it liked to beat people" Dean could barely keep the tears at bay "it would attack someone for a month while they slept and in the end it would kill them… we went there to help this chick Lola but we were too late" tears stung his eyes "it attacked Sam."

"That's why you asked me how to kill a spirit that had been cremated?"

"Yeah and it worked" Dean said sallowing the lump in his throat "but… but the beatings won't the only thing that it did to Sam."

Bobby just stared at Dean not able to find his voice at first "What Dean? What did it do?"

Dean turned to face Bobby and by now he had tears running down his cheeks "It raped him."

"H… how do you know?" Bobby was clearly shocked at what Dean had just announced "maybe… maybe" Bobby lost his voice and couldn't say anymore.

"I took him to the doctors to confirm it" Dean said softly "I told myself it wasn't true but it was… I… I'm scared Bobby" he said finally breaking down "I don't know how to help him get through this."

Bobby pulled Dean into his arms and let his head rest on his shoulder as Dean continued to break down. He rubbed circles on Dean's back and assured him that Sam would be fine and they he'd get better and Dean would do fine.

"I failed" Dean said through sobs "I failed."

Bobby hugged Dean close as he cried and hearing Dean mutter 'I failed' made Bobby's hard heart break. "Dean you didn't fail" Bobby knew were Dean was coming from and it was not true "You saved Sam, you didn't fail."

Dean rested his head in Bobby's neck, he wasn't ashamed of showing emotion to this man, he was like a second father to him, however unlike his own, Bobby was good with the emotional things. They sat there together for what seemed like hours but in reality was only minutes when Dean suddenly pulled back.

"He hasn't been eating or drinking, or even sleeping properly" Dean sobbed "I'm scared for him Bobby, I'm scared."

"I know Dean, but you are doing great with him, Dean…"

"What are you two talking about?" Sam said cautiously walking into the room.

Bobby looked up at the frail boy, "Hey kid, how are you feeling?" He asked.

"I'm… I'm ok, why?" Sam said looking around the room nervously trying not to look anyone in the eye.

"Sam, come sit down here," Bobby said gently. Sat moved carefully, keeping his back facing the wall as protection. "I think you need to eat something there Sam? What do you say, I'll cook you something myself?" Bobby said.

"Um… no… no thanks, I'll eat later." Sam replied staring at the floor.

"Dean tells me you haven't been eating much kid, maybe you should?" he said, unknowingly treading on very thin ice.

"Sammy, come on kid, you know we are only trying to look out for you here, just eat something! Please!" Dean said practically begging.

"Why would you two have to look out for me?" Sam said glaring at his brother.

"Sam… I know… You're hurting but please…" Bobby said. And the ice finally cracked.

"You told him!?" Sam yelled.

"Sammy calm down" Dean said whipping the tears from his eyes "Bobby has a right to know."

"But you don't have the right to tell him behind by hind my back! If I didn't walk out you wouldn't have told me he knew" Sam turned and stormed off then shortly after the sound of the door slamming echoed through the house.

Dean slumped his shoulders and rested his head in his hands "he hates me."

"No he doesn't" Bobby said placing a hand on his shoulder "he's Just as scared as you are Dean, you both have a lot to deal with here" Bobby spoke each word firmly making sure they sunk into Dean's thick skull "You two will get through this."

"How" Dean said lifting his head "We have never been through anything like this in our lives, we can't just put it behind us and pretend it never happened."

"No you're right you can't" Bobby said, "But you can move on, you and Sam will be ok in the end, trust me."

"I trust you" Dean sniffled and took a deep breath "I'll go talk to him" Dean stood and walked off to his and Sam's. He stopped at the door almost afraid to knock. He heaved a sigh and knocked on the door, no answer came.

"Sammy open up" Dean said knocking again but still he got no answer "Sam please… I'm sorry."

Still the door stayed shut.

Dean gripped the door handle and turned it ever so gently, the door opened with a squeak. He stuck his head in and looked around the room, he saw the two beds and the couch. "Sammy?" he called out softly "Kiddo it's me."

Dean crossed the threshold but saw that the room was empty. His heart sped up and panic set in along with a question, where was Sam? He looked around the room searching for a clue and he turned to look at the glass sliding doors. He walked to it and pulled it open, his eyes scanned the area and they fell onto a trail that led deep within the woods.

He moved down the stairs and carefully walked over to the path. He looked through the gap and saw that it twisted into a turn and vanished behind the thick ferns. Dean ducked under the brunch and made his way along the narrow path, he kept his eyes open in case his brother came into sight. Finally Dean found himself in clearing and he could hear the sound of running water.

The area was shaded many tall trees but there was a clear view of the flowing stream. The afternoon sun reflected off the water and the golden yellow beams warmed Dean's skin. If it wasn't for Dean's state of panic he would of enjoyed the scenery but right now he had one thing on his mind, find Sammy.

He turned his eyes away from the flowing water and he spotted Sam sitting against a large tree. He was staring out at the water but he had tears running down his cheeks. Dean moved quietly and carefully towards him, he stopped a few feet away awaiting Sam to sense his presence.

"Just leave me alone Dean" Sam said through tears "I just want to be alone" he refused to look away from the stream.

"Sammy I'm sorry" Dean said taking another step towards him.

"Leave" Sam spat "please…" his voice dropped and more tears escaped his eyes _"Please just go."_

"Sammy, I'm not leaving you," he said as he carefully approached his brother so that he wouldn't feel trapped. "You're my baby brother, and I'm sorry for everything I've done, but please kiddo, don't push me away now. Not after all of this." He said blinking to clear his vision.

"For all that you've done? Dean you _told_ Bobby! Without even asking me if it was ok. I don't want anyone to know. I don't need more people pitying me or being ashamed of me!" Sam stated beginning to yell.

"Sammy, no one pity's you and definitely no one is ashamed of you! And you have nothing to be ashamed of! I'm sorry I told him, but I needed his help and he needed to understand!" Dean said also raising his voice.

"Needed to understand? Understand what? That I messed up? That I'm weak and can't do anything right? Yeah thanks Dean!"

"Sammy you did not mess up! _I_ messed up. You… you got raped because I was to stupid thinking about myself!" He says, "if I stayed home that night you never would have gone outside and this never would have happened" a tear rolls down his cheek.

"Wha… What? You really believe _that_? Dean you did nothing wrong. I mean, _I_ went back to Lola's house, and then _I_ went outside. I'm just glad you don't have to deal with any of this." Sam said his voice barely above a whisper.

"Ok, so we both messed up this hunt big time, right? But listen to me kid, I love you and I'm going to be here with you and help you move past this."

Sam tore his eyes away from the stream and glared at Dean "How am I meant to just move past this Dean?"

"With my help" Dean moved a bit closer still not sitting down next to Sam "I'm going to get you through this ok, I promise you that."

Sam looked away at Dean and stared back at the crystal water "I… I" he stuttered on his words "I feel like I'm a burden to you."

At the last words Dean forgot to take each step lightly as he rushed to his brother, he stopped before him and pulled him into a tight embrace "Sammy you're not a burden" he pulled back and stared in to Sam's teary eyes, he could feel the tears in his own "I wouldn't trade you for the world Sammy."

"B… but I'm so weak" Sam sobbed softly "I try to be strong like you but I can't be."

"Hey Sammy don't you ever say that" Dean said placing a hand behind Sam's neck and rubbing it softly "you are strong Sam, you keep me strong" Dean let a tear fall and after that he couldn't stop them "You keep me full of hope Sammy"

Dean cradled Sam's body against his own as they sat together in the secluded area. No cars could be heard and there was no sign of any civilisation, this place was a sanctuary for the Winchester brothers and it was times like this when they most needed the escape.

"Bobby, he is going to be weird around me now isn't he?" Sam asked carefully.

"No, he wont, you know him just as well as I do, he treats us as his kids and come on Sammy, I wouldn't have told him if I thought he was going to be rude to _us_ about it." Dean announced.

"Us?"

"Yeah, us, I know this all happened to you, but Sammy. You know how much I hate the chick flick moments but here goes another one. I'm just as scared as you are; I'm just as lost as you are too. I don't know what I'm doing here but I do know that I am not ashamed of you, and I could never be, and I don't think you are weak because here you are still fighting, and you know I will always love you. Cause you're my kid brother. You got that?" Dean said not able to meet his brother's eyes.

"Yeah. I do now." Sam said looking down. "Do you think we will ever get over all of this?" He asked, more tears making Sam's eyes shine.

"I know we will." Dean said straight away.

Sam looked at his brother for any sign of doubt, when he found none he asked; "How do you know that Dean?"

"Cause I'm the big brother, so that means I'm always right!" he said grinning. Sam gave a weak smile in return.

Things were nowhere near perfect or even back to the way they were before the hunt, but they had made a move in the right direction. The two brother's stayed like that together until the sun started its decent, but even then, both weren't willing to leave _their_ sanctuary.

**_TBC_**


	13. Chapter 13 Beautifully Broken

**_Warning contains self harm_**

**Chapter thirteen: **_**Beautifully Broken**_

Sam and Dean had returned to Bobby's after the sun had disappeared and the darkness crept in. They had showered, eaten and were now sound asleep in their individual beds. The cool night breeze danced over the sleeping brothers and rustled the lace curtains. Sam pulled the blankets up to his chin and he sunk deeper into the bed, even in his sleep he was afraid.

The last hunt had drained Sam of all his energy and he'd been consumed with fear. Fear that he should never have had felt, and yet he was and nothing could change that. Sam was scared all the time. He felt like when people looked at him they knew what had been done to him, he could see the pity in their eyes. Most of all he hated being so weak and having to rely on Dean to keep him together.

Dean laid awake watching Sam sleep, he saw him tossing and turning and Dean knew that he was about to have a nightmare or already lost in one. Dean sat up getting ready to wake Sam if need be. Dean knew how bad Sam's nightmares could get but he had no idea that this would be one of the worst. He watched as sweat beaded on Sam's forehead and he saw his breathing start to go rapid.

Dean sat up and moved over to his baby brother, he sat down next to him and shook him gently while coaxing him to wake up but it was pointless; he was too far-gone within his nightmare. Dean could see the panic and fear on Sam's face and he tried harder to wake him up, once again his effort was in vein.

He continued trying even though he knew his brother would have to endure the first of many of these nightmares. Dean was startled out of his quiet musings when Sam bolted up right in his bed and started looking frantically around the room. Dean moved to place a hand on Sam's shoulder but when Sam felt the touch he lashed out still feeling the effects of the dream.

A heavy fist landed on Dean's jaw causing him to tumble backwards out of the bed and onto the floor. Nursing his sore jaw Dean cautiously rose from the floor and tried to approach his brother again.

"Sammy? It's me Dean? I won't hurt you," Dean said, a shaky hand reaching out to touch his brother.

"Leave me alone! Please! Just… just don't hurt me anymore…" Sam's voice was broken, barely above whisper and it made Dean wince.

"Shh Sam. You're safe now. I'm here little brother." Dean said attempting to touch Sam.

"De… Dean?" His whole body shook with tremors.

"The one and only, kid. You ok?" Dean asked sitting down beside his brother. "Want to talk about it?"

Sam simply shook his head then buried it in his hands. His knees were drawn up and he turned to face away from his brother. His whole posture was guarded. Sam was terrified.

"Sam? You know it is all over, you know you are safe. You don't have to be scared." Dean said trying to get his brother to come out of his shell.

"I know Dean. I know. But… I... I just can't." Sam said.

"What's wrong kiddo? You know you have to tell me, let me help you." Dean said. And damn, another chick flick moment?

"Dean, I think… I think I'm remembering…" Sam said, his face still buried in his hands muffling his voice.

"What do you mean? What are you remembering?" He asked, his hand unconsciously rubbing soothing circles against his brother's back.

"Everything… My… My nightmare was about one of the attacks. I think I was awake during the whole thing, like I got woken up, but it was suppressed or something, like _it_ made me forget…" Sam explained still not facing his brother.

"Oh God Sammy," Dean sighed._ Great, he's reliving the beatings!_

"I don't want to remember Dean…"

"I know kid, I know." He said trying to pull his brother in for a hug.

Sam allowed his body to be rolled over and rest next to his brother, his kept his eyes closed and his body mere millimetres away from his brother, but he could still feel his brother's warmth radiating against him, and the puffs of breath from Dean too.

"You want to tell me about it?" Dean tried again.

"I… umm, yeah." Sam sighed slowly opening his eyes. He looked over his brother's face and noticed a bruise forming along his brother's jaw. "How did that happen Dean?" Sam asked running his fingertips over the offending injury.

"Um. You got one heck of a left hook there Sammy, but don't worry about it ok kid." Dean said removing Sam's hand from his face, but still holding onto it.

"Oh. Sorry Dean. I think I'm always messing up."

"Dude, don't even go there, now do you think you can tell me what you remember?" Dean asked.

"Yeah…" Sam paused before continuing "In the dream I was lying in bed and he appeared above me then he started throwing punch after punch at me" Sam cleared his throat "It felt so real Dean" tears stung Sam's eyes "I could feel every blow like it was happening all over again."

Dean listened quietly allowing Sam to retell his nightmare without interruptions; he worried that if he did stop Sam, he would never want to talk about it later. By the end of it, though, Sam had been reduced to tears and now he had silent tears running down his own cheeks. Dean wiped away the tear with his thumb and gently brought his brother in closer to him into a hug.

Sam held on to his big brother allowing the tears to run freely. It had been hard enough to just live with the evidence, but now he had to remember how he got them? His mind was racing; he didn't know how to handle this as well as everything else. The two brothers sat together in silence, each running through their own thoughts until Sam came up with something disturbing.

"Dean…?" Sam asked attentively.

"Yeah Sam?" his voice hoarse.

"If I'm remembering the attacks. Does that mean I'm going to remember the rapes too?"

Dean's heart skipped a beat at the thought of Sam having to remember the rapes as well as the beating, why couldn't they just catch a break? He didn't know what to say to Sam, he didn't _want _to answer the question.

"Dean?" Sam's soft voice broke through his thoughts.

"You need to get some sleep Sammy" Dean said moving away from Sam so he could stand.

Sam felt rejected buy Dean's actions but he soon realised he had no reason to feel that way. Dean had moved to the other side of the bed and was pulling down the covers so he could climb in. Sam sighed then he too moved back under the covers, he pulled them up to his chin and made himself as small as his body would allow, with his back faced away from his brother.

Dean pulled Sam into his arms and held onto him whispering comforting words to lull Sam to sleep. Sam placed his head over his brother's heart and allowed the steady beat and breath to carry him into a more peaceful sleep. It was only when Dean realised that Sam had finally succumbed to sleep that he managed to relax a bit more, however continuing to stroke his fingers through Sam's hair. Soon enough, the darkness claimed Dean too, as his lids felt like weights, and for the rest of the night both brothers slept peacefully.

--------

The next morning went by slowly. Sam didn't get out of bed until eleven and he still refused to eat, he had a quick shower and returned to the bedroom, where he locked himself away. Dean was worried, hadn't he and Sam got over this already, why was he locking himself away? What had happened? Then it hit him; it was the dreams making Sam act this way.

It was bad enough that Sam had to live with the bruises and the knowledge that he was indeed raped but know he had to remember and witness everything all over again. He would have to go through all the pain and the though was making Dean sick. He didn't want Sam to remember what had happened, he just wanted to move past this and then everything would be back to the way it was.

"Hey Dean" Bobby said sitting across from at the table "Are you ok?"

"I am," he said taking a sip of his coffee "But Sammy's not" Dean looking up at Bobby "I cant get Sam to eat or drink and I don't want to force him but afraid if he doesn't he'll get sick." Dean wiped angrily at the tears that were forming in his eyes "I got through to him yesterday, he ate dinner fine, and now he is locking himself away again. Christ! It's all because of his nightmare last night."

"Dean you should have known he would have nightmares" Bobby said softly "everyone does."

"They're not just nightmares though" Dean said through a clenched jaw "he's remembering."

"When you say remembering you… you mean he is remembering the attacks?"

Dean gave a nod and slammed his fist on the table "why did this have to happen to Sam? Can't _he_ just get a break can't _we_ just get a break?"

"Dean I know this isn't fair-"

"-Damn right it's not fair" Dean spat "Sam is a kind person and this is his thanks? Because getting raped by a sexed up spirit is one hell of a thank you!"

"Dean this is no ones fault" Bobby put in "Dean, that spirit attacked other people hell it killed other people you should just be thankful that you knew what you were doing and you were able to save Sam before it got worse!"

"How could this get worse Bobby" Dean said standing "Sam has been beaten and raped and now he won't eat, drink or talk to me hell Bobby Sam is just a shell now! I can't reach him no matter how hard I try and all of this happened with one bad dream; imagine what the rest will do to him!"

Bobby blinked away the tears then stood up and placed his hand on Dean's shoulder and gave it a squeeze "Listen Dean and listen good" Bobby said each word so firm and full of confidence "If anyone can get Sam through this, its you. Sam is your brother and no one knows him better then you do, I know that you can get Sam back to the way he was before this happened."

Dean swatted away Bobby's arm and stood back "No Bobby you're wrong" he said in a tear-chocked voice "Sam will never be the same again! NOTHING in this world is gonna make this ok! Our lives are screwed, Sam's life is screwed" Dean shouted with tears streaming down his face "I can't make Sam better I can't put him back together!" Dean lowered his voice "Not this time."

Dean then turned around and went to walk out but he saw Sam standing there, he had tears streaming down his cheeks and a look of hurt and disappointment in his eyes. Sam stared at Dean for a moment then he turned and took off running, Dean stood shocked for a moment then he was brought back to the present by Bobby yelling at him to go after him.

Dean exited the room but suddenly stopped, he watched the door swing shut and he took a step back before turning and disappearing into the house. Bobby went to go after Dean but he stopped as he heard the door slam shut, he turned to face the screen door that Sam had just gone through. He couldn't believe what he had just witnessed.

Both Winchester had given up and that was something Bobby had never seen. The brothers had always been so strong now they were falling apart in front of his very eyes. Sam wasn't Sam right now, he was an empty shell and Dean was broken and had lost all hope. But Bobby wouldn't let them fall apart because they were like his sons and he was going to hold them together when they couldn't do it themselves.

Bobby turned and walked towards the front door; he pushed the screen open then stepped out into the afternoon sun. He walked around to the back of the house and found Sam sitting on one of the many cars. Bobby approached him carefully, he stopped beside Sam and he got a quick glance from the broken hunter.

"Sam" Bobby started, trying to find the words to say, "Dean didn't mean what he said."

"Yes he did" Sam said bitterly "Dean doesn't say anything unless he means it… and he's right" tears continuously ran down his cheeks "I can't get over this… I can't move on."

"Sam don't you ever say that" Bobby said moving to stand before him "Sam I know you, you're strong, you can get over this," Bobby placed a firm hand on his shoulder "Deep down Dean knows you can get over this, he's just scared."

Sam looked away, refusing to meet his eyes.

Bobby knew that the only way Sam would get better was if he had Dean's support and with out it Sam wouldn't let himself get over it. So he would have to put Dean back together so he could help Sam heal. "Why don't you come inside have a bite to eat" Bobby said using a different approach.

"I'm not hungry" Sam mumbled.

"Sam you've got to eat" Bobby said, "I'll make you a cuppa ok."

Sam gave a small nod in reply then looked back up "Can I stay out here for a bit longer?"

"I'll call you when it's ready."

--------

Dean shut the door and walked over to the bed; he flopped down and buried his head in his hands. His body shook with sobs and anger; he lifted his head and stared at the empty bed. He wished Sam hadn't heard what he said but maybe it was better for Sam to know that Dean couldn't save him this time, that there was no way Dean could help him through this.

Dean let a single tear run down his cheek then he shut his eyes and took in a deep breath. He lay back down on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, he traced each crack with his eyes before getting tired and shutting them. He felt himself drifting into the dark when he heard a voice, his eyes snapped open and he sat bolt up right.

The voice was repeating over and over again, the words sinking deeper every time he heard them. '_Look after Sammy, Dean' _were the words spoken and Dean stood up so quickly a wave of dizziness washed over him. He stood swaying on the spot before pulling himself together, the words spoken by his father made Dean realise it was his job to look after Sam and he was going to do it. No matter how useless Dean felt right now he would do anything for his Sammy and right now Sam needed him more then ever. So he would stop thinking about himself and go do what he did best, be Sam's big brother.

Dean opened the door and strolled out; he reached the end of the hall and found Sam and Bobby sitting in the lounge room. He was relieved when he saw that Sam was eating a sandwich and having a cup of tea or coffee. He walked carefully towards his baby brother; he had no doubt that Sam knew he was there but he refused to look up.

Dean stopped before him and with his eyes he asked Bobby to leave. Glad that Dean had quiet being an idiot he nodded and disappeared from the room, giving the brothers some time alone. Dean walked closer to Sam and sat down on the couch that was next to the one he sat on. Sam still refused to look up but he continued to eat, which made Dean relax a bit.

"Sammy I'm sorry" Dean said, trying hard to keep his voice firm "I didn't mean what I said… I'm just scared for ya kiddo" Dean added a bit of humour to make himself and Sam feel more comfortable. "I wasn't thinking when I said what I said" Dean looked at Sam for any signs that he understand what he was saying, but Sam still refused to look up at Dean "Its good to see you eating, you were getting a bit bony."

Sam swallowed his food and he picked up his cup and took a sip but refused to acknowledge him.

"Sammy _say_ something please," Dean pleaded.

Sam sat the cup down and turned to face Dean "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to acknowledge me" Dean said a bit stunned by Sam's outburst.

"Do you want me to cry on your shoulder and say that everything is all better now? Well nothing ever gets better" Sam stood and ran off, leaving Dean in shock for the second time that day.

Bobby walked back in a moment later and took a seat next to Dean, who had his head buried in his hands "Give him some space for now" Bobby gave him a soft pat on the back "He'll come around."

Dean lifted his head and blinked away the tears "I hope so."

--------

By sundown Dean was sure that Sam hated him.

He had yet to return to Bobby's and Dean was growing worried, Sam was in an unstable state and he could harm himself if he wasn't thinking right. Dean's worry soon turned to panic and he found himself walking along the path that led to the river, where they had been yesterday afternoon in a similar situation.

He finally reached the clearing where the picnic tabes were but there was no sign of Sam. He scanned the area carefully, but still found no sign of Sam; he felt his heart start to pound in his chest as the feeling of dread washed over him. In his fit of panic he ran towards the edge of the river and there was Sam. He was sitting on an old dock staring out into space.

He hadn't seen it before because it was hidden behind the many trees; he made his way over to Sam but made sure not to scare him. He stepped onto the dock and glanced down at Sam, who hadn't heard him or was ignoring him. He walked closer and that's when he saw the crimson liquid running down Sam's arm and dropping into the flowing stream.

He watched it vanish in the water and he soon realized that this wasn't the spot he and Sam had visited yesterday. The water was rough and the river twisted and turned before vanishing from sight. However the water was not the reason he was out here, the broken man in front of him was. He moved a bit closer towards his brother but suddenly stopped.

Sam had a small knife placed to his wrist and was dragging it across slowly and deeply.

------

Sam ran through the bush and shrub not caring about the small cuts inflicted against his already bruised skin. Soon he came upon the clearing that once offered comfort, but as he stroked the object in his pocket, he realised this was just another place in the world where he would get hurt.

He walked up an unfamiliar path and found an old dock, planks of wood were missing and the whole structure seemed ready to collapse at any moment, but it was perfect. It placed him right above the all-consuming water. _Perfect_.

Sitting at the edge he pulled out the sharp object from his pocket. Lately he had started carrying it around with him, it seemed to reassure him, it was a comfort, just to be able to touch it and know that he could escape whenever he wanted. It was the numbness he always felt that made him find comfort in the small blade. Pain reminded him that he was still alive, pain reminded him that he was still in the world; pain reminded him that there was worse, that there was more that could happen to him if he allowed it to.

He pulled the blade out; still stained from the last time he used it in the morning, and drew it across his wrist. Only a small one to start just to feel some sting. He ran over some of the pre-existing cuts watching as the crimson liquid ran down his hand and disappeared into the water. With a deep breath he pulled the blade up his arm, he hadn't made a large cut like this before, but after hearing what Dean had to say, he couldn't take it any more.

Sam wanted out of this, of all his problems, and of being everyone else's problem. He thought this was the solution to their situation, if he wasn't there then Dean could keep hunting, Bobby could stop worrying, and he wouldn't have to deal with all the thoughts running through his head.

Slowly he could feel his blood run down his arm, seeping out of his wounds and into the water.

---------

"Sam, don't!" Dean exclaimed completing forgetting that he might scare Sam.

Sam stood and spun so quickly that he lost his footing and he slipped back into the flowing stream. Before Dean even knew what he was doing he jumped into the river and was pulling his baby brother to the surface. He wrapped his arms around his brother's waist and held onto him, not ever wanting to let go. He swam towards the edge of the stream but he felt something catch onto his leg.

He tried to pull his leg free but as he did he felt something sharp dig into his flesh and he had to suppress a cry of pain. He tried again but his only reward was more pain. He took a deep breath and stuck his head under the water so he could see what had wrapped around his leg. He opened his eyes and saw that his leg had become tangled in barbwire that ran deep into the mud.

He rose to the surface and with a great tug, and a fair amount of pain, he pulled his leg free. He then continued to swim towards the bank; he was finding it almost impossible with a bad leg and an unconscious brother in his arms but finally he reached the bank and dragged himself and Sam away from the water, he collapsed with exhaustion and all he wanted to do was sleep but he had to take care of Sam first.

He rolled Sam onto his back and he saw a long gash across his forehead that was bleeding lightly. He noticed that he wasn't breathing and panic set in; he placed a hand on Sam's neck franticly searching for a pulse. Relief washed over him when he found one but Sam still wasn't breathing, he pinched the bridge of Sam's nose and titled his head back. He placed his lips to Sam's and blew; he started compressions and tried again. Finally he felt Sam struggle against him and he pulled back, tilting his brother on his side Sam coughed up some water and gasped for air.

He stared into Sam's puppy dog eyes and a small smile graced his face, he pulled Sam in for a hug and promised himself that he would get Sam through this if it were the last thing he did.

"I love you kiddo" Dean said kissing the side of his head as he cradled Sam in his arms, together rocking back and forth.

**_TBC_**

**_Hope you liked it please review _**


	14. Chapter 14 What Hurts the Most

**Chapter fourteen: **_**What Hurts the Most?**_

Dean and Sam returned to Bobby's after a long and tiring trip home. Both of them were exhausted mentally and physically and they needed time to rest and put themselves back together. He and Bobby and cleared Sam's wounds and put him to bed shortly after, Dean's leg had also been bandaged and he would be joining his brother once he finished his conversation with Bobby.

"Maybe counselling is the best option," Bobby suggested.

Dean shook his head "what's he gonna say? I got raped by a ghost in my sleep."

"Ok so maybe Sam's situation is a bit different to others."

"You think?" he scoffed.

"But talking about it is probably the best thing for him" Bobby added "He needs time to heal and he needs you to help him get over this."

Dean let out a long sigh "Bobby, he tried to kill himself and I know it was because of me. He thinks that he can't move past this and it's all because of me" Dean dropped his gaze to the floor.

For once Bobby didn't know what to say. He had never seen the brothers so broken, he had seen them fight and bicker but he had never seen them fall apart. He wished he knew what to say but the right words wouldn't form so he let out a sigh and said the only thing he could think of. "You get some rest and you and Sam can talk in the morning."

Dean nodded then stood and headed the bedroom. He opened the bedroom door and walked into the dark room. He saw that Sam was fast asleep in his bed so he moved farther into the room being careful not to wake his brother. He pulled down the covers and climbed into his bed, he snuggled in and rolled on his side so he could keep an eye Sam. He could now see that he was only pretending to be asleep but things were rough between them right now so he stayed awake watching his baby brother carefully.

--------

Sam lay on his side, hiding under the covers, desperately trying to hide himself away from the world. He felt insecure, worthless, ashamed, dirty and used. Today he had tried to end his life and stop being a burden to his brother but he had failed, Dean had caught him and stopped him before he got a chance. He wanted so badly to end his life, he waned to stop feeling scared and useless, he just wanted to be at peace and he wanted his brother to be free of him.

But somewhere deep down inside of Sam, he knew he didn't want to die, he wanted to keep fighting. But the little voice that whispered those words was so deep down that he could barely hear them. But with the right words and the right help Sam could bring them to the surface and get on with his life but he needed to listen the words of wisdom before he could he move on.

--------

It was late in the night and Dean was still feigning sleep and he was sure Sam was to. He stared up at the ceiling, tracing the many cracks with his eyes while trying to think of the right words to speak to his broken brother. Today was the most frightful day of Dean's life, he had witnessed Sam trying to take his own life and it was all because of him.

Dean had been so sure that he couldn't get Sam through this but then he heard the words his father had spoken and he knew it was his job to get Sam through this. He had no idea what he was doing or what the right words to say would be but he knew he had to find them and make sure Sam found his way back.

Dean knew things would never be the same again, he wasn't stupid but he needed Sam to believe that he could move on with his life, he needed Sam to know that this wasn't the end.

Dean heard a noise and he rolled over to face Sam, he was now finally asleep. With the knowledge of knowing Sam was safe he finally let himself drift off.

Dean's eyes shut but he heard a noise and they snapped open. He sat up and looked around the room, trying to find the source of the noise, it had sounded like something being knocked over so he assumed it was just a wild cat knocking something over in the backyard. He let a yawn and went to lie back down when he saw a figure above Sam's bed.

_He quickly jumped to his feet and went to walk to his brother but an invisible force stopped him. He stared at the figure that was lying on top of Sam and his heart skipped a beat. The spirit of Cole Collins was once again raping his brother but it was not possible he had killed him. Dean tried to get to his brother but he couldn't move, he was frozen._

_He saw his brother crying, screaming in pain and begging him to help him, yet he stayed where he stood, frozen. He had to watch the whole thing, hear every cry of pain and every plea. Finally the spirit moved off his brother and stood beside him, staring down at the shaking form. Dean was glad it was over but when he saw a knife be pulled from Cole's pocket he screamed._

_But no sound left his mouth._

_The blade was placed to Sam's throat and with one swift movement he had cut his throat ear to ear._

Dean sat up, drenched in sweat and panting heavily, he felt his heart pounding and his head throbbing in pain. He took a deep breath to calm himself down and he wiped the sweat from his brow. He calmed down enough to realise it was morning and the golden sun was shinning brightly through the open window.

He let out a sigh and turned to face the bed where Sam was sleeping but he wasn't there. Dean jumped out of bed and quickly pulled on a t-shirt before darting from the room. He ran down the hall through the lounge room and into the kitchen, a wave of relief washed over him when he saw Sam sitting at the table. Staring down at a bowl of porridge.

Dean took a deep breath and casually walked into the room, he pulled out a chair across from Sam and sat down. He picked up the paper and started to read while glancing at Sam every few seconds. He saw that his brother was withdrawn and still wasn't eating; instead he was lazily playing with the food while staring into space.

"Hey kiddo" Dean spoke softly "How'd you sleep?" by the bags under Sam's eyes Dean knew Sam had barely slept if at all.

Sam continued to play with the food but chose not to answer.

"Sam, I didn't mean what I said yesterday, you know that right?"

Sam dropped the spoon but still didn't look at his brother "I know."

"Then… then why you do it?" Dean asked hesitating slightly at first.

"Do what?" Sam asked still not looking up.

"Sam you know what I'm talking about" Dean said, slightly angry that Sam was playing dumb "You tried to hurt yourself and I know it's because of what I said!"

Sam felt his blood grow cold at Dean's words, he had not tried to end his life because of what he said, he had done it so his brother would be rid of him. He was doing it for Dean, but it was going to be hard to explain that to Dean.

"Dean…" Sam started, trying hard to explain what he was feeling "I didn't do it because" Sam scrubbed his hands over his face in frustration "I did it because I hate myself right… and I know I'm such a burden to you and I just thought that if I wasn't in your life it would be a lot easier for you." he could see Dean getting ready to object so he quickly went on. "Dean I'm a shame to this family, Winchester's are meant to be strong and here I am getting myself raped and needing you to safe my useless ass" Sam wiped away his tears and took a deep breath before continuing "I'm not fit to be in this family."

"That's bullshit and you know it" Dean said firmly "Through all these years you've been the one and only reason why I keep fighting and you're the reason I believe there is some good out in the world. Sammy you are strong and you keep this family together" Dean had to fight back his own tears "You have never and will never be a burden to me. I love you kiddo and there is nothing that I wouldn't do for you and you know that."

Sam shook his head and looked away from his brother "Dean you would be better off without me, I'm always bringing you down."

"Sam for Christ sake you are not a burden to me!" Dean shouted without realising he had frightened Sam "I gave my soul for you Sam and I would give a lot more if it meant keeping you safe."

"How can you not be ashamed of me?" Sam asked while turning back to face him "I mess up! I always mess up! I get hurt and if I don't get hurt I get you hurt."

"Sammy we all make mistakes" Dean said softly "I mess up to, hell I messed this hunt up so bad!"

"Dean we both messed up" Sam said with a sob "We both weren't at the top of our game and we both screwed up, if we hadn't been fighting, Lola would probably be still alive and you and me would have left town without a worry." Sam let a single tear fall and he could finally hear the little voice telling him everything was going to be alright.

Dean let a small smile grace his face and he placed his hand on Sam's and gave it a gently squeeze "I'm gonna make everything ok Sammy, I promise." Dean stood and pulled Sam into a hug, letting his brother know that he was there whenever he needed him. He kissed the top of Sam's head then buried his face in his hair.

They stayed like that until they were both reassured that everything was going to be ok.

--------

The cool afternoon breeze danced through the trees and gently brushed over Sam and Dean's wet skin. They had decided to wash the Impala and Dean thought it would be a good idea for Sam to do something rather then sit around the house all day. The Impala had needed to be washed for a while and Sam needed some time to clear his head. So Dean put two and two together.

They had washed the Impala and ended up washing themselves in the process. It all started when Sam accidentally poured a bucket of water on Dean, he had tried to apologise but Dean quickly turned the mistake into a game. And for a while Sam forgot about all of his problems and the Winchester brothers had fun like they hadn't had in a long time.

They had finished washing the car and themselves and the sat themselves on the hood and stayed silent. Just enjoying the comfort and security that they brought to one and other. Finally they started to make small talk, first Dean told Sam about the first time that they had washed the car then it moved on until it came to the present situation.

"Today's been really good" Sam mused while staring up at the clear sky "Better then the last few days."

"You know it's gonna get easier as time goes on" Dean said, being careful with what he said.

"Yeah I know Dean" Sam said with a sigh "Its just hard right now."

"I know kiddo."

"I just wish I didn't have to relive it all."

"So has it just been the one dream?"

"No" Sam shook his head "I dreamt of the rape last night."

"Sammy I'm sorry" Dean said pulling him in for a quick hug.

"Dean it felt so real" Sam said looking away "I could feel everything."

"Shh Sammy its all over now" Dean said wrapping his arm around his shoulder "You're safe, no one is ever gonna hurt you like that again. I promise you that."

"Thanks Dean" Sam said resting his head on his brothers shoulder and slowly drifting off to sleep.

--------

Night had come and Bobby's house stood in darkness, and for once things seemed ok for the Winchester brothers who were sitting on the hood of the impala staring up at the sky. Finally it seemed like Sam was ready to heal and move past the one event that had changed his and Dean's lives forever. While staring up the sky both brothers replayed the last week over in the head.

In one moment their world had crashed down around them and for a moment they both thought that it could never be rebuilt but time heals all wounds and this was no different. With Dean's help Sam knew that one day he would stop feeling, ashamed and scared, he also knew that he would never fully get over this. Like Jess's death he would have recurring dreams and would be left feeling broken and empty until Dean put him back together again.

"Dinner's ready."

Hearing Bobby call out to Sam brought him back to the present and he and Dean jumped off the car and walked inside the old house. The smell of roast greeted them as they entered and the warmth of the house was welcome. They sat down and eat their meal in silence each locked in their own minds, too busy thinking of the past to worry about the present.

Twenty minutes later the Winchester brothers were heading to bed, every day to them seemed exhausting and by night they were ready to collapse. Each brother sat on their own bed lost in their thoughts, an event that seemed to happen a lot in the last week. With the silence becoming too much Dean rose to his feet and walked towards the window. Hoping that his action would make his brother realise he was unconformable with the deafening silence.

And as Sam did so many times he sensed that his brother was uncomfortable and searched his mind for something to talk about. He wanted to avoid talking about the 'attack' it was brought up to often and Sam wanted to forget, but his inner demons wouldn't let him. Every time he closed his eyes he saw the monster that was Coll Collins. Closing his eyes was like watching a horror movie; only this one was real and never ending. Sam was stuck with the memory no matter how hard or how bad he wanted to forget, it just kept coming back.

Finally Dean couldn't stand the silence so he turned to face Sam, who was looking at him through his shaggy hair. Still not sure what to say he slowly walked back to his bed. He took a seat and let out a long sigh, he wished he knew what to say but for some reason he couldn't even put two words together.

"This is awkward" Sam said lifting the silence.

"It's not awkward" Dean said moving to sit next to his baby brother "It's more nerve racking."

"Why?" Sam asked sitting up and drawing his knees to his chest.

"Because I don't know what to say," Dean admitted, "I'm scared that I might say the wrong thing or hurt you."

"Dean you could never hurt me" Sam said placing a hand on his arm.

"I did a bang up job yesterday" Dean said sounding mournful.

"What do you mean?" Sam asked curiously.

"C'mon Sam, you and I both know that if I didn't say what I said you would have never hurt yourself."

"Dean… what?"

"You know you heard what I said and I hurt you so-"

"-Dean no!" Sam interrupted loudly then quietened back down.

"No what Sam?" Dean demanded.

"What you said…" Sam licked his lips "it had nothing to do with why… why I cut myself… for a fact yesterday wasn't the first time I did it," Sam said no louder than a whisper.

"What?"

Sam winced at the tone of Dean's voice and withdrew into himself some more "I'm sorry" tears started to glisten in Sam's eyes and Dean realised he had scared Sam by the tone of his voice.

"No…no Sammy its ok" Dean moved closer to Sam, almost too close for comfort "I'm sorry kiddo, you have nothing to apologise for baby."

Sam lifted his eyes and stared at Dean with a ghost of a smile "You haven't called me that since I was like five or six."

Dean gave Sam a small smile in return. He had in fact called Sam baby the other night but Sam had locked himself away and he mustn't have heard it but Dean enjoyed knowing that Sam knew he was still his baby. Sam yawning brought Dean out of his thoughts and he stood up and moved to stand next to his brother's head.

"Time for sleep" Dean said laying Sam down despite the fact Sam felt like he was being treated like a baby but that was just Dean, Sam was his baby brother after all. "Sleep tight kiddo." Dean moved away and got into his own bed "I love you, you know that right?"

"I know Dean" Sam said softly "I love you too."

--------

The next morning Sam awoke to something licking his face. Still groggy he rolled over to see what it was and came face to face with a black and white Border collie. He stared at the puppy with confusion and for a moment thought he was dreaming but when the little dog licked his face again he knew he was awake.

He sat up and looked over at Dean's bed and saw him sitting there with a grin on his face. "You like him?"

"De… Dean" Sam stuttered not sure what to say, "He's great."

"Thought you'd like him" Dean moving to sit next to Sam and the puppy "I think he looks like you."

Sam rolled his eyes and pulled the puppy into his arms "Dean… I don't know what to say."

"Sam you don't have to say anything" Dean said patting the playful pup "you deserve him and beside you gonna need some company when I'm gone."

Sam lowered his eyes and held the puppy close to him, he had forgotten all about the deal and he was scared as hell. He couldn't cope without Dean; he needed him more then ever right now.

And being the great brother Dean was he sensed Sam's panic and pulled him in for a hug, being careful not to squish the puppy. "Sammy you'll be fine" Dean assured while rocking his brother back and forth "you will still have Bobby and this little guy." He said ruffling the pup's fur.

"Dean" Sam has tears running down his cheeks "I wont… I wont"

"Yes you will" Dean said looking Sam in the eyes "you will be ok" he said firmly then smiled "how about we name this little fella."

"I like Tristan" Sam said softly.

"That's a nice name" Dean said patting the pup then smiling a brother "He so looks like you."

Sam gave a small chuckle and a smile graced his face and Dean knew that Sam would be ok.

**Well loyal readers that was the end but there will be an epilogue so don't fear there is more sappy brotherly love to come :) I would also like to thank everyone for reviewing and reading this story Ang and I are very grateful that you all enjoyed it so much xxoo – Dean's Little Secret**

**It's been a blast writing this!! I'm actually sad to see it end!! But don't worry, this definitely isn't the end of either one of us, check out our other stories :D thanks so much for reading and reviewing (or just reading) hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did writing it! – Perfectharmony22**


	15. Epilogue

**_Epilogue _**

The golden sun was starting to vanish from the sky and shadows danced over the land. The warm breeze blew gently through the tress and through the window to Bobby Singer's house. A loud thump echoed from the house and the front door swang open and a smallish black and white dog ran out. He skidded on the dirt and spun around to face Dean, who was not happy.

The playful pup had been teething and was chewing through everything and everything was manly Dean's stuff; Dean's shoes, Dean's sock, Dean's boxers and an AC/DC tape. But as much as Tristan annoyed Dean he still loved the pup, he was great for Sam especially when he was feeling down. So as annoying as he got, Dean would never carry out his threats. He had threaten to drown him in boiling water, flush his head down the toilet and run him over with the car but every time he saw Sam smile at the pup all those thoughts went away.

Tristan barked at Dean then backed away slowly, his tail between his legs and his ears bent backwards. Dean let out an angry sigh and turned and walked back inside, Sam would kill him if he came home and found Tristan dead or with a broken leg, which Dean felt like doing at the moment. Tristan had just run off with Dean's Metallica t-shirt but luckily for Tristan it was unharmed.

Dean had scared the pup so much he had dropped the shirt and bolted for it. His first attempt was to find Sam but he wasn't in the house so he bolted for the door. Lucky for Tristan that Dean was in a generous mood otherwise he would be, well who knows what Dean would have done to the poor pup.

Dean took the shirt off his shoulder and placed it on the couch. He walked into the kitchen and pulled the jug of water out from the fridge and poured himself a glass. He swallowed half the glass in one mouthful then he moved over to the cupboard and started to search for something to eat. He heard the screen door shut and it signaled that either Sam or Bobby were back.

He looked up from the cupboard and saw Sam walking in with Tristan at his heal. Dean had only seen Sam at breakfast and had assumed he was at the river but usually Tristan went with him but he obviously wanted to stay and chew more of Dean's things. Either way he wanted Tristan to stay outside, and Sam had brought him back in. Dean was not impressed.

"Sam, keep that mutt outside!"

Sam jumped with surprise and turned to face his angry brother and Dean immediately realised he had scared Sam by his sudden outburst. It had now been a few months since the attack but Sam was still jumpy. He hated sudden loud noises, crowded spaces and people walking up behind him, also he still had nightmares but they were less frequent now.

"Sorry Sammy" he quickly apologised "didn't mean to scare you."

Sam sighed then walked into the kitchen with Tristan following, he hated being so afraid but he had to admit he had improved. There was this one time where Dean had begged Sam to get out of the house so not wanting to disappoint his brother he agreed to it, what a mistake that turned out to be. The diner was crowed and Sam felt trapped, not to mention it seemed as if everyone was staring at him and he felt like they knew what had been done to him. Then in the end he freaked out and bolted for it, leaving Dean to freak out himself.

So after that little episode Sam refused to leave the house unless he went to the river, but slowly he started coming out despite his fear. It was small places at first, not so crowed. Sam would freak out if there were more then around three people in a room at first but now he was improving and he felt better in himself.

"You hungry?" Dean's voice broke through Sam's thoughts.

"Ah yeah" he said with s shrug and walked into the kitchen and took a seat "what is there?"

"Well I reckon baked Tristan would taste great with some apple sauce."

"What did he do now?" Sam asked giving the pup a glance.

"What hasn't he done?" Dean asked shutting the cupboard "he chews through everything Sam. He is worse then termites."

"Dean, he's a puppy, what do you expect?" Sam picked the pup up and snuggled into his fury coat.

"Yeah well he eats everything and I'm sick of it!"

"Well give him a toy to chew on" Sam added "or a stick."

"He can get his own stick" Dean said moving to the open the fridge "Now put the mutt down and take him outside."

Sam sighed and put the pup down but didn't let him out.

"Sam."

"Dean he's not doing anything wrong" Sam protested.

"Yeah not yet" Dean said looking out from the fridge "But he will and when he does he is dead meat."

Sam rolled his eyes but still refused to put Tristan out.

Dean let out a sigh and chose not to push the matter "So what do you want to eat?"

"Your shoes look good."

Dean spun around to see his good black shoes lying on the floor with holes and tears all through them. "Sam put him outside now!" he whirled back around and he had fire in his eyes. "I'm sick of this!"

"Well buy him a toy" Sam added "then he wont have to chew on things."

"I have to replace the things he's chewed I don't have money for a stupid toy!"

Tristan barked and hid behind Sam's legs "Fine I'll buy him one" Sam then walked Tristan to the door and put him out then returned to the kitchen, where Dean had begun to pull things from the fridge "can you come with me?"

"Where?" Dean asked looking up.

"To the pet store to buy him something."

Dean set the butter down on the bench and looked up at Sam, he hated how afraid Sam was and he wished he could just make it all better but he couldn't. This was something that would take time, and even though usually Dean wasn't a patient person, when it came to Sam he could wait forever.

"Ok I'll take you to the store and after you, me and the mutt can go to the park, hows that sound?"

"Yeah sounds good" Sam said with a soft smile.

"Great" Dean said chopping a tomato in half "It's settled then."

**--------**

The cool afternoon breeze danced through the tress and drifted over the large area where young children and their families were playing and having picnics. This time of the day was perfect for a stroll in the park or just to come and sit and enjoy the fresh air. Also it was quiet and peaceful and it was the prefect place to take dogs, such as Tristan.

Sam had brought Tristan a toy Frisbee and was now throwing it through the sky and the playful pup was chasing after it. He turned to face Dean who was sitting on one of the picnic tables, eating a McDonalds's burger. He took a big bite and said something to Sam but he had no idea what it was.

"English Dean" Sam teased as he sat down next to him.

"Well… I was thinking," Dean, scratched behind his ear, which he did a lot when he was nervous "like do you think you are ready to move on Sam."

"Well move on where?"

"I don't know, maybe we could find a new hunt or something?" Dean said putting his burger down, and looking up at Sam.

Sam let out a sigh and looked down at his hands "Yeah… I guess, I mean if you want to."

"Sam no" Dean said firmly "This isn't about me, it's about you" he turned so he could face Sam and placed a hand on his shoulder "I need you to be sharp and if you're not ready we could get hurt, _you_ could get hurt." Dean paused "Sammy I don't want to pressure you but I do need you alert and most of importantly I don't need you getting freaked out by loud noises and sudden movements."

Sam looked up at Dean with a small smile "Maybe I should start off on something small before I get back into it."

"How about we pick something easier" Dean said taking another bite from his burger "You can do the research and I'll kill it, sound good?"

Sam went to reply but Tristan came running back and dropped the Frisbee by his feet, he picked it up and patted the dog then looked back to Dean "Yeah sounds good."

Dean gave a firm nod then took another bite off his burger "Great, just what I wanted to hear" Dean said with a grin "so we leave tomorrow?"

Sam looked at Dean "You already have a hunt don't you?"

"Well Bobby mentioned something," he explained "Said that some guys down in Oregon were going into comas."

"Is there a pattern?" Sam asked as he watched Tristan return and lay down by his feet.

"Yeah" Dean started "All guys in there mid 20's, they have been going into comas, they stay like that for a while and they get weaker and weaker until the pass away."

"Well it sound like its worth looking at" Sam said while looking down at Tristan who was looking up at him with his tongue hanging out of his mouth "Yeah ok, we'll go" Sam said looking up with a smile.

"Excellent" Dean jumped up and threw his rubbish in the bin then turned to face Sam with a warm smile "I'm proud of you kiddo."

Sam gave Dean a shy smile "Thanks."

Dean patted him playfully on the back and started to walk back to the Impala with Sam and Tristan following behind.

**_The End_**

**Once again thanks for reading and reviewing XD and you guys are lucky there will be a sequel**


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